The Mega-Zine Museum
November 10, 2002
CRINKLE-CUT BEETROOT Fancy a game of pontoon, WLW? Hey — I'm not playing with a full deck! And I'm hiding an ace where you'll never find it.
GENIUS AT WORK No, don't leave now. I feel we've bonded. Yes, but unless you loosen this rubber band and sticky tape concoction, I'm calling the cops.
THE BRAT PRINCESS I'm not scared of butterflies, WLW. I just think I'd freak out if, say, 56,008,347 of the things attacked me. Think we all would!
MY SCHOOL
There is a Lucozade machine that didn't work for the first month it was here,
a teacher that looks like Oz from Buffy,
a disturbingly painted corridor (bright orange, it's bright orange!),
a computer room with two working computers
and girls that don't want anything to do with me.
Roll on university.
The Yorkie Bar Kid
I don't think uni is the answer —
A FAST CAR OR MONEY MAYBE, NOT UNI
A POEM
A little alliteration never did any harm
And the odd rhyme here or there adds so much charm
Bt abbreviations jst wnt do
'Cos they don't really help the poem stick like glue
Th@ girl
Sweet, consice, rhymes,
NO NAUGHTY WORDS... PERFECT
NEWPORT
Newport, says Jarvis T Raven, is a place for lost souls etc.
I have reason to disagree, for the mighty Grant Nicholas hails from that particular location.
And indeed, Jon Lee.
Combustible Spoon
And there ain't no party
LIKE A NEWPORT PARTY... APPARENTLY
WINTER
Am I the only person that likes winter? It's brilliant!
You get to wear a really thick coat and a woolly hat and maybe even gloves. Then, when you're all prepared, you step outside and it's you versus the elements.
I even like rain. It gives me the opportunity to put my hood on without looking stupid.
The best thing, though, is getting home from college, putting the kettle on and warming my toes in the oven.
The Young Upstart
Mug of Bovril, cat on your lap,
GOOD MOVIE, REAL FIRE, ZZZZZZZZ...
REASONS WHY MANCHESTER ISN'T THAT BAD:
- There are no droughts in Manchester.
- It gave the world The Smiths, The Stone Roses, New Order, Joy Division and, er, Take That.
- Nowhere else in the country can have over 30 earthquakes in a week, while being well away from any earthquake zone.
- I live there.
So I ran out of reasons at the end. So sue me!
Samurai Hedgehog
And from Take That burst forth Robbie —
NOT SOMETHING TO CROW ABOUT REALLY
CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON...
WLW, I'm soooo happy! After torturing the townie culprit who changed the combination on my lockable Garfield biscuit tin, I have regained access to my rare cookie archive.
Draw me a picture and I'll give you an Elvis-shaped cookie! Arty home baking, I'm getting good.
Ammopogo
I tried, and failed, to do a cookie —
PLEASE ACCEPT THIS COOKER INSTEAD
