Mega-Zine
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November 1—2, 2002

GENIUS AT WORK I was going to say something sarcastic about Gareth Gates, but I respect him too much. Yeah, I get it, very funny.

SPANDOREXXA Hot dogs, jumping frogs. That is all. Aaaalbuuuquerqueeee.

MIGHTYMOTHMAN WLW, you've got to get yourself together. You've got stuck in a moment and you can't get out of it. Indeed I have, a moment where Bonio (or whatever his name is) sings at me constantly about streets with no names.

 

THINGS I HATE ABOUT MY WORK:

  1. How the incessant beeping causes headaches.
  2. People that pick up milk cartons with holes in so it leaks all over the conveyor belt.
  3. How reduced stickers never come off properly and make the barcode impossible to scan.
  4. How lazy people leave their trolleys by their cars, creating the boring task of recovery.

TheUnitedTruth

You wouldn't think half of that stuff

WOULD GO ON IN TOPSHOP, WOULD YOU?

 

WHAT ANIMALS TASTE LIKE

These are all true. If you don't believe me, then try for yourself:

  1. Ants taste like sweet tarts
  2. Beetles taste like apples
  3. Worms taste like fried pork rinds
  4. Wasps taste like pine nuts
  5. Bees taste like strawberries

Coming next, "Animal Abnormalities".

Super Nintendo Chalmers

Remind me NEVER to come to your house

FOR DINNER!

 

WLW OR BMW?

Day/Night?—Day.
Morning/Evening?—Morning.
Daddy/chips?—That little girl is so stupid — she chooses chips when every sensible daughter would choose daddy, as daddy can buy her lots of things.
WLW/BMW?—No offence, WLW, but I choose a BMW. Whether you're male/female/non-human, I'm sure you're not a car. Should it turn out that you ARE a car, I will stand corrected... or rather, sit corrected, in the seat of my BMW.

Autumn Angel

How's about chips with Daddies sauce?

BEST OF BOTH WORLDS, I SAY

 

DEAR 'ZINERS,

See, it seems that, despite having my incredibly witty comments printed on these pages, I never get a mention in any lists.

So I have made my own list featuring me:

'Zine Legends:

  1. Farmer Jack

Now then, what do you say to that?

Farmer Jack

As far as lists of egomanics go...

IT'S MY FAVOURITE SO FAR

 

GENIUS AT WORK

Regular cola is a putrid, gassy substance that can dissolve enamel on contact. Diet cola, however, is a sublime thirst-quencher, especially since they introduced that lemon-flavoured variety.

So, you see, I drink diet cola because it TASTES better, not because I'm on some kind of fat-busting exercise. I reckon it cuts down on dental bills, too.

Insane Jam Sow

And let's face it — dental bills

AIN'T NOTHING TO SMILE ABOUT

 

PHOBIAS

My English teacher reckons that people only really hate something because they ARE that something that they really hate, but don't want anybody to know.

I was thinking about this and came to the conclusion that, if she is right, it means that WLW could be an S Club Junior or a member of So Solid Crew.

So, am I right, WLW? Or have all those English lessons gone to my head?

Illusive Shadow Of A Doomed Universe

Put it this way — I hate Man United

BUT I SURE DON'T WANNA PLAY FOR 'EM

 

LANARK

I'm not sure who it is that said they were from North Lanarkshire on here, but I too come from this barren area of Scotland. My own town of Lanark is far less cosmopolitan than, say, Airdrie, but probably better than Monklands.

We can go to the pub and not get in as we have no ID, go to the huge Tesco or look at the brown landmark which is the Smyllum Water Tower.

There you go. Come to Lanark and do stuff.

Sir Kristoph the Chaste

Lanark? Airdrie? Monklands?

IT'S ANOTHER WORLD, IT REALLY IS