Mega-Zine
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November 3, 2002

SPANDOREXXA McDonald's Happy Meals are a right rip off! I had 17 the other day and I was still depressed. OK, I think we have a case of junk overload.

SYFANATIC If the three blind mice were really blind, how did they find the clock? And how did the storyteller know they were blind? That's Hollywood for you — everything is possible.

INFINITE SPARK So, WLW, who's your favourite Stroke? Julian Casablancas — just for the comedy value of his name.

 

DEAR AUNT WLW

I am distraught. My friend (Samurai Hedgehog) seems to have Jaffa Cake Syndrome. He appears to believe that all the problems in life can be solved by Jaffa Cakes. I'm very worried, whatever shall I do?

Do you know the cure, WLW? Just this morning I asked, "What do you think you would do if you had to save the world?" and he replied, "Pass round the Jaffa Cakes".

This cannot be healthy.

Autumn Angel

If I knew the answer, do you think I'd

HAVE 23 BOXES ON THE GO RIGHT NOW?

 

MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT

  • Come up with really good idea for message to 'Zine
  • Turn on computer
  • Forget really good idea
  • Send WLW tons of one-liners and random rubbish messages like this

I feel for you, WLW.

The Way And The Light

Thank you! Someone who cares —

THIS AIN'T AN EASY RIDE, Y'KNOW

 

WLW

To the tune of Singing The Blues:

I've never felt more like shaving my knees
I'm 90 years old and still climbing trees
For love, dear
Must be addicted to bees

The Marmalade Honey

Sometimes, you feel you're at the birth

OF SOMETHING HUGE, DON'T YOU?

 

MY NEW HAIRDO

Well, I've had a mixed response to my new haircut.

Mum said I looked like Krusty the Klown, dad said it looks like a motorbike's skidded on my head, I think I look reasonable and most people think I look weird.

I actually have a stubbly stripe, 5cm wide, where mohicans normally are... mine's inverse because I've got blond spiky hair on either side!

Jeffery Pig

That'll frighten the old dears

DOWN THE HIGH STREET

 

ALI G

Has anyone ever wondered what Ali G's surname is? I mean, sure the G must stand for something.

So what does this initial represent? I've been investigating:

Maybe it was G for Goat, but no, surely not. Maybe it was G for Great, but as tempting as it seems, it can't be this.

The answer is, I have figured out... Gator. Ali Gator. Work it out among yourselves.

DJ Dave

Ali Gator... hmmmm... I like it —

KINDA SNAPPY

 

PARANOID

Och. Nincompoops. WLW, is there anything wrong with wearing a brightly (extremely bright, eyes-hurting bright) coloured hat? I mean, isn't this normal for winter?

All day I've had people grinning at me or laughing. I'm starting to get really paranoid.

Fools... the lot of them!

(In)Sane Sarah

I think it's the little bells on it

AND THE JAUNTY ANGLE YOU WEAR IT AT

 

WILTSHIIIIIIIREEEEEAAAAARGH!

Woweee — DJ Dave AND Wackybutton-inc, both from my home county! I'm a resident of Salisbury. This is awfully exciting, you're both almost within spitting distance.

Not that I'd want to spit on you. Unless you supported the Chippenham Wanderers, that is.

Zero-Tolerator

The Chippenham Wanderers? Sounds like

AN OLD FOGEYS' BOWLING TEAM