The Mega-Zine Museum
October 30, 2002
GENIUS AT WORK No, no wait... wait for me... well, there goes my life! And it's a one-shot gig too.
THE HOLY PIMPLE I just wanted to use the word sarcophagus. And now you have.
PURPLE PUNK Today I was invited to a Halloween party. I was wondering what I was going to dress up as and then my dearest friend reminded me — I don t need make-up, I already look like a monster. Oh nice! And that's a friend, is it? You don't need enemies, do ya?
GOOD THINGS ABOUT LIVING IN WALES
- Rain (if you like rain)
- A frankly absurd sheep-to-human ratio
- We gave the world Anthony Hopkins
- Tom Jones now living in America (rejoice!)
- Nationwide fit of hysterical ecstasy any time our sports teams accomplish even the most miniscule of achievements
- Plotting the imminent demise of Anne Robinson
Jarvis T Raven
And the wonderful Millennium Stadium —
WEMBLEY COULD LEARN A THING OR TWO
WLW,
I feel betrayed. I thought he was my friend. But the lies, THE LIES.
I'm talking about Glug (p196) — he promises me every day that the jokes are the "funniest yet", but how can they be if he gives them lower stink ratings? Who's he fooling, eh? Eh?
If you see this snail/worm/turnip thing lurking around, read his jokes but don't believe a word he says!
Jack-Names-The-Planets
I've called an urgent meeting with Glug
TO DISCUSS HIS CAREFREE ATTITUDE
MORE INTERESTIN' FACTS...
- If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
- The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30ft.
- A cockroach will live 9 days without its head before it starves to death.
- The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
Pink Moomin of Moomin Valley
These are fascinating and yet,
AT THE SAME TIME, QUITE USELESS
THE MANIC STREET PREACHERS
Reserving the right to contradict themselves, as they did, is just a pathetic cop-out so they need not ever hold any real, meaningful opinions.
Instead, they should have reserved the right to release rubbish singles so that their fans don't feel the need to jump to their defence when they release a single that's more apalling than usual.
Spam Goblin
Harsh
BUT TOTALLY FAIR, SAY I
'ZINERS, WLW, DAVORD, MABEL et al,
I've sent this about nine times, so print it WLW, or face the consequences.
I vote my own county, Lancashire, as the best county.
WLW, draw a picture of Deepdale Duck for me, or the "other" photograph gets published as well!
XPhile2868 (He Of The Internet)
If it's the one involving the gnu and
THE JELLY, GO AHEAD — I AIN'T SCARED
A NEW DEBATE
Which is better hand-warmer, gloves, fingerless gloves or mittens?
I suppose it all depends on what you are going to do in them. Fingerless gloves are all well and good for looking cool and gothic, but mittens are far more endearing.
I don't know. Come on 'Ziners! Which one has the upper hand? (bud-dum ching!)
Spandorexxa
Gloves are for wimps. Hands in pockets,
SHUFFLING FROM FOOT TO FOOT IS BEST
PENNYWISE
These guys are my favourite band in the whole world. They have a lovely hardcore punk sound with brilliant lyrics, the majority about wanting peace and how we've got to do something to try and change the sucky way we live, with our corrupt governments and mean people.
They inspire me so much... so I thought I'd write about them.
Scary, this letter actually makes sense!
The DimGirl (from the molehole)
I think you may have me confused with
THE BEARDY WEIRDY VOID EDS
