The Mega-Zine Museum
October 27, 2002
THE GEEK WHO SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH I was going to say something really clever and witty, but I've gone blank. Just as well, so have I.
JOHN (THE MAN WITH NO NAME) Put the money in a brown paper bag and leave it on the bench in the park. Next to the man with the can and the odour problem?
EVIL TONGS What colour would a smurf go if you froze it? Sort of green-ish. I know because I tried — you know, I was bored, it was a Sunday...
CLASSIC SONG LYRICS
After having (In)sane Sarah rightly point out the highly imaginative lyrics to Scooter's tunes, I decided I just couldn't let this gem go to waste:
"I like it when we kiss, then we hug, then you're cute as a bug in a rug, my love."
Hmmm... great lyrics there Ronan!
Emma-the-lil'-Angel
Not exactly Poet Laureate, is he?
OR MUCH OF A SINGER, EITHER
LISTS
For my first list, I have compiled a selection of my favourite lists;
- The 10 best hamster names
- The things I love about Atomic Kitten (very short)
- The things I loathe about B*ckch*t (almost endless)
- The five most fashionable ways to wear your beard
- This one
I'm good at this list lark, ain't I?
Genius at Work
There are 5 ways to wear a beard?
FASHIONABLE WAYS? I THINK NOT
PRETENTIOUS PSYCHOLOGY
I love this subject, but it's full of the daftest sounding terminology. I particularly like the Working Memory Model, with its phonological loop and visuo-spatial scratchpad.
Then there's all the psychologists! Do you think there's a Smith or a Jones? No, they're all called Craik, Baddeley, Raaijmakers or Quig. Honestly, where do they find these people?
Insane Jam Sow
I'd tell you if I had even the faintest
IDEA WHAT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT
HAIKU
No time for me to introduce myself, it's haiku time:
Have I made my point?
The evidence is right there
Hamsters do not bounce
Oh, and WLW? Do not bad mouth mini Jaffa Cakes again.
Sam Got A Snorkel
I wasn't so much bad mouthing them...
I JUST DIDN'T SEE THE POINT
WELL... WELL... WELL...
I'm back my friends (and enemies). I haven't posted for a while because I was seeing if you could cope without me. Evidently, you can't.
So now I'm back. Back for good. Please note this phrase has no association whatsoever with a Take That song.
The Man With The Golden Bun
We coped... sorta.
NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, THOUGH
BO SELECTA!
Someone mentioned this previously, and it is indeed pant-wettingly hilarious!
Having a fiendishly juvenile sense of humour, I believe Bo Selecta to be the funniest programme since Round The Bend. In fact, it's just like Round The Bend except with gratuitous rudeness and celebrities who are remarkably similar to RTB's puppets.
Spam Goblin
Isn't that the programme with that
BIZARRE BIG BROTHER STALKER GUY?
IT'S YOU, ISN'T IT?
Don't you remember me? You used to sit in front of me at school, next to Jade Goody in Port-u-ga-nese lessons? You used to wear a pink shirt with satanic rubber ducks on it and that scarf covered with badges of Jaffa Cakes?
So, this is what you've done with your life, publishing odd letters 6 evenings a week? Have you still got that mole shaped like Gareth Gates? Oh, how we used to laugh in the shower!
The Monk's First Born
I had that mole removed! Now, if only
REMOVING GARETH GATES WERE AS EASY
