The Mega-Zine Museum
September 22, 2002
GREEN GLUE What day is it today? Is it Friday? Sadly, no.
SUBATOMIC GENIUS Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers? In case he got a hole in one! Who said comedy was dead? 'Cos they were soooo right!
JADED DRAGON WLW, have you cleaned Davord out yet? He really is starting to smell. That's not him. The dustmen are refusing to collect from WLW Towers until I chain him up.
PEANUT BUTTER
I've just discovered it. I used to hate it when i was a wee girl but it tastes good with just about anything — Pringles, lettuce, chocolate and biscuits to name a few.
Crunchy peanuts with smooth buttery peanuts. Yum... it's sublime.
Sublime... funny word.
Cow In The Shed
Now then, I love peanut butter but...
WITH LETTUCE? YOU SURE?
DAGGSY
Yes, chickens do have to do exams! And I should know, I am one. We have to pass exams in clucking, being a chicken, further clucking, strutting around and further further clucking.
Plus, there's those two little things called GCSEs and A-Levels, which are ruining my little chicken life.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I must download the Rainbow theme tune on to my mobile phone.
The Chicken Who Crossed The Road
When do you get time for pecking,
WHAT WITH ALL THESE EXAMS AND STUFF?
AAAARGH!
In my part-time job as the sole male checkout assistant at Safeway, I am constantly surrounded by middle-aged women. The only thing that has separated me from being as sad as them is that I don't know every single barcode off by heart... up 'til now.
This morning, eight random numbers came into my head, and these numbers were 0503 422. The very same numbers as the barcode for half a cucumber!
Save me — I'm turning into a middle-aged woman!
The Way and The Light
Get out of there now...
BEFORE YOU START LEARNING TO BAKE!
EXAMS
Here's something to do if you get bored in an exam. Read what's written on the table. Amusing examples I have seen include:
- My guppy is dead
- I am a guppy
- Guppies rule
I have yet to discover a message that is not quite so personal.
The Pedantic One
Just how bored was that examinee that
THEY END UP WRITING ABOUT GUPPIES?
HERE I GO...
No, I'm sorry, I can't resist. I simply must comment on the exceptional lyrical genius of Scooter's new song:
"It's not a bird, it's not a plane, it must be Dave on a train!"
Ha ha ha ha... oh, how I laughed at this great masterpiece! Come on WLW, join in:
"It's not a bird, it's not a plane..."
(In)Sane Sarah
Scooter — the 'muscial' equivalent
OF WALKING ON HOT COALS
DEAR WLW
Sometimes I find myelf sitting here staring at a blank computer screen, waiting and waiting and waiting. Do you know what I'm waiting for? That little spark, the one that comes to me when I'm sitting watching EastEnders, or falling asleep in history.
It's that tiny bit of inspiration which starts my trail of thought and leads to some of my most amazing and inspirational 'Zine letters.
So, did this one make it?
'Spired Snaz
Well, it did, but then again —
IT'S A QUIET DAY
