The Mega-Zine Museum
September 17, 2002
COW IN THE SHED If somebody tells you to go and stick your head in a box, do you do it or not? Sorry, I can't hear you, got this bloomin' box on my head.
THE ONE WITH THE MIGHTY ANTLERS Someone wrote in to B*ckch*t saying they think Spurs will win the FA Cup. These people never fail to scare me. Forgive them, for they know not what they say.
THE WAY AND THE LIGHT I had something really great to say... but I forgot it. Never a problem on these pages.
WLW
Why doesn't 'Zine have a website? Imagine the possibilities! A larger, better 'Zine with interactive features, enough room for pics and loadsa other stuff.
Why doesn't 'Zine get more modern? After all, all you are at the moment is one Teletext page.
Start expanding now, and you could have the whole world in a few years!
Bob, Your Uncle
That's a good question — now,
IF ONLY I HAD A GOOD ANSWER
DAVID DICKINSON
He's fantastic, isn't he? When I read your letter, Samurai Hedgehog, I couldn't believe someone else out there was a fan! Especially since he's gone all groovy and he's on at prime time.
And, if your "cool" hair is spiky, then you must have been sent from Heaven, my hedgehog friend!
I have little experience so I wouldn't compare you to anyone, especially not other hedgehogs 'cos I know how self-conscious you critters are.
The Moshing Daffodill (with TWO 'L's)
Wahey, Hedgy mate —
YOU GOT A FAN!
GO AWAY!
Why do people insist on talking to you when you read Teletext?
Do they not realise it can't be 'put down', but will cycle round, requiring you to remain sitting there in expectance of the reappearance of your page?
'HOLD' may hold one page, but you then totally wreck the cycle!
Why can't they just SHUT UP?
Sir Whence Pitchfork
Some people have no respect
FOR THE BIBLE, DO THEY?
WHY PURPLE IS THE GREATEST OF ALL COLOURS:
There is no real need for this as purple is the best, just 'cos it is, but for all you non-believers:
- It's special 'cos there are two shades of it in the spectrum
- It goes with practically everything
- It is the colour of love
There you go, what more proof do you need?
Skutter Bob
And Lilac Leopard is your girlfriend?
INTERESTING...
SISTERS
Not only do I have an annoying Gooner sister, but so does one of my Chelsea-supporting friends. It appears other Ziners share the same problem. What's with these random Gooneresses?
Why couldn't they all have been born into WLW's family? He/she would doubtless be thrilled to have more siblings who support his/her team and the rest of us would have some peace.
Have you ever thought of adopting siblings, WLW?
Sapphistication
Adopting cats, yes — sisters, no!
EVEN IF THEY ARE 'GOONERESSES'
'ZINERS
My so, so brilliant song that I wrote myself:
Oops I did it again
I looked at B*ckch*t
And thought I was fat
La la la la la...
I sort of forgot the words a bit but hey, it's better then Britney, I think!
The Goddess Of The Microwave
Keep it to yourself
OR SHE'LL BE PINCHING THAT!
FAMILY FORTUNES
What's going on? They've got rid of Les Dennis and replaced him with some annoying cockney bloke. An outrage!
First, it was that Irish guy off Catchphrase getting the boot and now, Les "If it's up there, I'll give you the money myself" Dennis!
What next?
Bargain Hunt without David Dickinson?
Weakest Link without Anne Robinson?
MEGA-ZINE WITHOUT WLW?
The Young Upstart
But we need a little con-tro-versy,
IT WOULD SEEM SO EMPTY WITHOUT ME
