The Mega-Zine Museum

September 16, 2002

DRUGSTORE COWBOY Why do girlies keep avoiding me? I have spikey hair, good teeth and I never burp on a first date. Girlies are weird. I don't suppose calling them "girlies" helps.

SAMURAI HEDGEHOG I've just heard the new Scooter single. WLW, pass the Domestos so I can bleach my ears. It's like DJ Otzi all over again, isn't it?

COW IN THE SHED I still have not become rat woman. Tablets not working? I must admit, you're looking more "gerbil".

MIGHTY MAX

Do you remember this, WLW? It was about a boy with a baseball cap that opened portals to faraway places, so Max could stop a host of ghosts and monsters. There was an owl called Virgil and a warrior called Norman.

Max became Mighty Max after the old Max fell off a cliff. There was also an evil demon that lived in a volcano called Skull Mountain.

So, WLW, did you ever buy the little pocket playsets or buy the magazine?

Bob, Your Uncle

Somebody help me out here —

'COS I HAVE NOOOOOOO IDEA

ANNOYING LITTLE SIGN

OK, picture this: you are driving happily along the motorway with all the lovely trees and fumes, when you see a sign saying "Road Works".

This is good, you think to yourself, I'm very glad the road works because otherwise I would be pretty stuck.

So you drive along and end up plummeting down a large hole.

This isn't right, this isn't good. It's not clever. Don't think and drive.

Yellow Jello

Yeah, sit down a minute,

I NEED TO EXPLAIN SOMETHING

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE

When I'm bored, I sometimes watch University Challenge.

On Monday, I was playing solitaire and half listening to the show when Jeremy Paxman announced: "Your next set of questions is on the subject of Metallica."

I was intrigued that a quiz usually asking questions about classical composers and opera was now asking about groups like Metallica, until Jeremy said: "Which metal has a boiling point of...?"

I lost interest again.

The One With The Mighty Antlers

It was never gonna be

THE METALLICA THOUGH, WAS IT?

WLW

Today, I learned the following things:

2. Water and electricity do not mix.
3. xQNNIR dshu wkdg bh eftd nsda.
4. I cannot type with my left hand whilst my eyes are shut.
8. Gay giraffes have longer necks than heterosexual giraffes.
2. Lists are not my strong point.

Farmer Jack

So how do gay giraffes have longer...

NO WAIT, FORGET I ASKED!

WLW

Can I be your baby sister, WLW? Here's my CV:

• My brother supports Arsenal.
• I like gerbils.
• I watch Byker Grove.
• I like Ant and Dec (and Gareth Gates).
• I wear my hair in bunches.

Please? Or I'll scream and scream until I'm sick.

Little JJ (Blind Yet Adorable)

OK, examine your CV very carefully...

NOW, DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO ASK?

WLW

Whatever happened to the 'Zine anthem debate? Well, here are my selections anyway:

1. Blur — Song 2
2. Nirvana — Smells Like Teen Spirit
3. Sex Pistols — Pretty Vacant

Great choices, hey WLW?

Infernal Feline

I think we eventually decided Song 2

WAS THE 'ZINE THEME, DIDN'T WE?

'ZINE AWARDS

And now, to present the award for 'Ziner Of The Year 2002, here is WLW...

Satan's Rubber Duck (drum roll please!)

Thank you, thank you, great to be here.

AND THE AWARD GOES TO...

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