The Mega-Zine Museum
September 11, 2002
HEWHOCANNOTBENAMED Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? Because it's two tired! Man, I'm good. A prize? Yes, please accept this prize berk.
SIR WHENCE PITCHFORK Do the expressions "bigging it up", "living it large" et al, actually have any meaning? Yes, they mean "Check me out, I'm an idiot."
PINK MAFIA A world without So Solid Crew is a world full of happiness and fluffy pink things. Innit though?
SAVE ME!
Six of my adolescent pop tart cousins are coming to stay for a week. Seven days of Britney, B*ckch*t and a1.
I don't know what I'm going to do. Answers on a postcard please.
The Happy Chappy(ette)
Simple really —
MOVE
WLW
I was bitterly disappointed with your footnote to my letter listing Will Young's charms. You could have added to my list, perhaps mentioning his sunshine smile or sweet flat feet.
But no. You had to be big-headed and come up with the fact that 'he can eat an entire Wagon Wheel in one go'!
I don't believe you have a romantic bone in your body, WLW.
Camilla Ponsonby-Smyhte
I said that? Really?
GOD, I'M FUNNY
WLW
Is it me or are old people getting trendy? My 82-year-old gran listens to Steps, dyes her hair blonde and wears mini skirts.
What is happening?
Also, pigeons and chickens rock!
The Lesser Spotted Goose
Please — the thought of granny WLW
IN A MINI SKIRT... NOOOOOOOOOO!
'ZINERS
A friend texted me recently to say she was in Mevagissey, a fishing village once at the heart of Cornwall's pilchard industry.
Apparently, Mevagissey was the first place in England to have street lighting — street lighting which was fuelled by oil from pilchards!
The Psychedelic Gloom
You never went to see that counsellor
DID YOU? EH?
FIVE THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU'RE BORED:
- Head down to your local library and check out their latest cool activities.
- Read through some old DIY magazines.
- Join a vegetable growing club (seriously, they do exist!)
- Buy the latest Atomic Kitten single.
- Write to Megazine.
Hell's Angel
Atomic Kitten, eh? The tide may be high
BUT NOT NEARLY HIGH ENOUGH!
A DISCLAIMER
This Merry Idiot, and the other two thirds of the Three Merry Idiots, accept no responsibility for any loss or injury sustained to persons, small furry animals or plants, no matter how accidental or deliberate it may or may not have been. That's if it even occurred at all, which it may not have done.
Now we've got that out of the way, what's your favourite pie filling, WLW?
The Idiotic Third of the 3 Merry Idiots
Gotta go some to beat a good old
CHICKEN PIE, I SAY
A TATE OF SUSPENSE!
The dark scared her and the silence made her feel insecure. She was alone, but safe. The front door was locked and the back door bolted tight. All the windows had been shut. No-one could enter the house.
But he had entered. And now, slowly walking up the stairs, the ghostly figure approached its next victim...
Paragon
Quick, Davord,
UNDER THE COVERS
