Mega-Zine
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August 24, 2002

TIGERCHICK I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. Think I'll have that on my gravestone. Either that, or "Told you I was ill".

THE DUCK IN THE HAT On holiday this year, I found a bookmark with this advice on it: Don't poke mad people with pointy sticks. A brilliant motto for life, don't you think? Brilliant.

BIG BOB FLAPPER OK, so who's more orange, Dale Winton or David Dickinson? Both are an equally worrying shade.

 

WHY DOES LIFE SUCK?

Because the following are all still around:

  • U2
  • S Club and everything to do with them
  • Manchester United players
  • Aston Villa players
  • Destiny's Child
  • Ed
  • B*ckch*t

A Leprechaun Called Steve

That Roy Keane — he needs a slap

ROUND THE CHOPS WITH A WET KIPPER

 

A NEW DEBATE

Which is the greatest British county?

I vote for my own, Worcestershire. It's home to a great sauce and it stops Birmingham spreading southwards, which must be a good thing.

Also, when we decided we didn't like Herefordshire, we just got rid of it! Great!

Insane Jam Sow

Mmm... Worcester Sauce.

HOW DID YOU DISCOVER IT?

 

WORDS OF WISDOM

I have taken it upon myself to give you some super advice in matters of love. Here goes:

You cannot force anyone to love you. You can only stalk them and hope for the best.

Thank you, thank you.

Apathy's Child

Of course, the management at WLW Towers

DOES NOT ENDORSE STALKING

 

FOR POETRY CORNER

An Ode To Poets

When you see a poet
There's normally another one near
And when there's two poets
They're normally drinking beer!

I think you'll all agree, this is a literary masterpiece.

Insomniac Tapeworm

I think we're all agreed on one thing —

LITERARY MASTERPIECE, THIS AIN'T

 

LONDON UNDERGROUND MOBILE PHONE DEBATE

OK, I'll set the record straight. On my journey to school we do indeed emerge above ground for a minute.

What's funny is watching the fool with a mobile trying to get it to work for half the journey and when it does, composing a text message. Then when she's about to send it — we go back underground and there's no signal!

Bob Snitchet

The fool with the mobile is a she?

TENDS TO BE A HE IN MY EXPERIENCE

 

DEAREST WHITE LINE WARRIOR

Today, a young boy stopped me and my friend in the street and asked: "Why do you wear big black jeans and worship Santa, when you could look pretty like my girlfriend?"

The girlfriend wore heels, a skirt, a Steps T-shirt and three inches of make-up.

We saw the wisdom of his words, abandoned our evil ways and headed towards New Look.

Pink Punk Princess

No! Turn back, turn back now

BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

 

WLW

A lot of people think 'Zine is getting too repetitive.
A lot of people think 'Zine is getting too repetitive.
A lot of people think 'Zine is getting too repetitive.
A lot of people think 'Zine is getting too repetitive.
A lot of people think 'Zine is getting too repetitive.
A lot of people think 'Zine is getting too repetitive.

I dunno, what do you think, WLW?

Secluded Rainbow

Absolute rubbish. Absolute rubbish.

ABSOLUTE RUBBISH. ABSOLUTE RUBBISH.