The Mega-Zine Museum
July 26—27, 2002
RUSTIREDD THE SQUIRREL WARRIOR WLW, could I have a word? Procrastination would be nice. Is that rude? Huh? That had better not be rude.
THE JUMPING CHEESESTRING Don't you think the sprite on the Sprite ad is ugly in a cute kinda way? I think it's adorable. Want one. Now. Anybody?
THE DIMGIRL (FROM THE MOLEHOLE) I don't have anything interesting to say, so I'll hand you over to, WLW! Well, last night I dreamt I... oops, outta room!
POETRY CONVENTION
To whoever said they keep getting e-mails about an online poetry convention — me too!
Only I didn't even enter this competition, they just sent me an e-mail saying they loved my poem and would I come and read it in Washington DC! And they think my name is Sabrina!
Methinks someone gave a fake e-mail address to them... which just happens to be mine. Why?
Madame Flutterby
Some people eh? Er... by the way...
DID YOU HEAR FROM H AND CLAIRE?
POLAND IS FULL OF POLANDISH PEOPLE
By the time you read this, I will be in Poland on a school trip, where I have to trek with a massive backpack for five days and help in a Polish kids home where they only speak Polish.
Also, the bestest boy dropped out yesterday so now I'm stuck with smelly ones. The leader is ex-army and will shout very loudly at times in the morning I've only ever dreamt about.
Why did I volunteer for this?
Mim Nice But Dim
Well, yes —
THAT WAS GONNA BE MY FIRST QUESTION
YOU WANT BORING?
Remember the lawnmower museum? I live in the town NEXT to that which cannot even come up with a boring museum.
The town centre has about three shops, seven banks, 10 pubs, 6 charity shops and four chemists.
The best attraction we have is a park in the shape of a triangle and a market that was once owned by monks from some place near here.
Long live the joys of Ormskirk.
The Oh-So-Wonderful Me
Not even a comedy postman?
OR A CHEEKY CHAPPIE MILKMAN?
REASONS TO LEAVE NORTHAMPTON:
- It has its own (very poor) TV station
- The buses are rubbish
- The people on the buses are weird
- The Weetabix factory is nearby
- It's full of townies and greebo wannabies
- There's no free skateboard parks for the greebos
- Because WLW said so
Jeff The Jiff
I did? When did I say that?
MIND YOU, THINKING ABOUT IT...
DEAREST WLW
I have been reading these wonderful pages for quite a while now and you are a ray of sunshine in an otherwise bleak world, where townies are fast taking over.
Yesterday, I was told off by Barry, my boss, for throwing the radio out of the window when someone put on a radio station which played The Logical Song and those Pop Idol idiots... in succession.
Pity me. PITY ME!
Lola the Sane Showgirl
I think there's a strong case for
SOME SORT OF UNION INTERVENTION
THE ORIGIN OF WLW
Although many previous 'Ziners have tried (and failed) to discover what WLW stands for, I think I have found the answer.
WLW must have been the last three letters of his/her/its car registration number — eg: E354 WLW.
This car would have been a blue Ford Escort with an extra loud bass system, in which WLW and his mates drove around to impress the ladies.
Am I right or am I right? I'm wrong, aren't I?
Insomniac Tapeworm
Put it this way — couldn't be wronger!
WRONGER? DID I JUST MAKE THAT UP?
WLW
Your mother is ugly.
Your father is an ape.
Spurs could beat the Gunners any day, if Arsenal stopped cheating
and your partner is scraping the barrel.
And so are you.
I'm mighty brave in cyberspace, aren't I?
A Leprechaun Called Steve
Partner?
I HAVE A PARTNER?
