The Mega-Zine Museum
July 18, 2002
SPANDOREXXA You don't see generosity like this often... at Iceland you do! Stop that... stop that now. That guy's voice is irritating beyond belief!
AMMOPOGO Being a woman is so much better than being a man because we're not men, OK? Fine. No argument then.
METAPHORIC MONGOOSE Hey WLW, we all fancy you in Ingatestone. Come and visit, we'll make it worthwhile! I've got my A-Z at the ready, packed some lunch, just have to find Ingatestone.
HEY HEY!
Can anyone explain to me why all the slugs and snails come out when it rains?
Do they not know that they will only get trodden on? And why do they make such a noise when you step on them?
Slugs and snails, for yours and our sakes... DON'T DO IT! Thank you.
Coca-Koala
Playtime would be considerably dull
FOR MY MAVIS, WITHOUT THEM
WHAT? INDIE?
WLW, don't you think it's strange that Travis and Scooter are in the Indie chart, despite being totally different?
Oh, I get it, they're both rubbish!
Rustiredd The Squirrel Warrior
What a right old mess the charts are in
IF THAT'S THE BEST INDIE CAN OFFER
HI EVERYBODY!
To celebrate my arrival, here's a list of my favourite things:
- Hugs
- Strawberry jam
- Apples
- Cheesy '80s pop records
- Camper vans
- Lie-ins
- Harrassing cyclists
- My lovely brunette hair
- EastEnders
- My impressive songwriting ability
Emma-the-lil'-Angel
Yes — harrassing cyclists, especially
THOSE WHO CAN'T TELL RED FROM GREEN
'ZINE,
I recently delved into the randomly spelt and abbreviated world of the internet, and discovered some quite interesting things.
Not only am I NOT the only person in the world who likes Michelle Branch, I'm not the only person who hates the third Jurassic Park film. I'm yet to find a website dedicated to blue paint however, which is what I was really looking for.
Mr Robofish
www.peoplewhatlikebluepaint.com
OK, THAT WAS A GUESS, I'M SORRY
FAMILY ANNOUNCEMENT
This morning, I found that our goldfish, Bob Flipper, had died. Usually, this sort of thing wouldn't get to me but I was very close to that fish.
We went everywhere together. But now, since little fishy Bob has gone to that big fishbowl in the sky, I don't have a clue what to do with my life.
So, I'm going to put a brave face on and try to get over this trauma.
Thank you for your time.
Big Bob Flapper
I think I speak for us all when I say —
WE SHARE YOUR SENSE OF LOSS, BIGGY
'ZINERS,
Hats. People should wear more hats.
Not only would the phrase "I take my hat off to you, sir" make sense, but also everyone would become politer, almost genteel.
Next topic, gloves.
Heroine Chic
Or pants... everyone should wear pants!
OH WAIT, THAT'S BEEN DONE ALREADY
