Mega-Zine
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June 9, 2002

NiLiD "Wizardora, we adore her, she's the one who... something... something." Of course we remember Wizardora! Don't we, WLW? Sadly, yes.

SATAN'S RUBBER DUCK Ooooh, I know what Hear'Say's new single is! It's... a flop! It most certainly is.

A LEPRECHAUN CALLED STEVE If B*ckch*t can be updated 19 times a week, how come the absolutely brilliant 'Zine can only be updated six times a week? Eh? Quality over quantity, my friend.

 

10 THINGS I COULD LIVE WITHOUT:

  1. Cookery shows
  2. Big Brother
  3. Mushrooms
  4. Milk
  5. C**p music
  6. Sandals
  7. Evil people (in the bad sense)
  8. Wasps
  9. Slugs
  10. Reeeally, reeeally hot days

The DimGirl (From The Molehole)

Big Brother? If it weren't for BB,

I WOULDN'T FEEL HALF AS SUPERIOR

 

THE BISCUIT CONUNDRUM

I must warn you all about the horrifying biscuit conundrum. The problem encountered when you have tea and biscuits and need to know what to dunk and for how long?

I've found that digestives turn to gravel, rich tea biscuits fall apart but chocolate-coated ones stay together really well.

A solution at last — hasn't science advanced?

Bob Snitchet

Fine research, but the definitive dunk

IS, WITHOUT DOUBT, THE GINGER NUT

 

PERILS OF A SHOP ASSISTANT PART II

Customers, please realise that if you were funny, you'd be doing stand-up...

  • When asked about cashback: "I'll only spend it!" or "Only if it's free!"
  • When having shopping packed: "Will you unpack it at the other end?"
  • When paying for shopping: "I only came in for a loaf of bread!"

Simon With The Cool Shoes

You know what, Mr Grumpy? I'm sure

YOU WORK VERY CLOSE TO WLW TOWERS!

 

BIG BROTHER

Another year and that annoying, but strangely addictive, trendy programme is upon us once again.

I was wondering... which 'Ziner would we put in the house, if only to get them away from the rest of us for nine weeks?

I'm saying nothing...

Lilac Leopard

I say we stick Davord in there —

IF ONLY FOR THE SMELL

 

BIG TROUSERS AND NEE BRAINS!

I laughed so much when my mate fell over her baggy trousers, my hoodie hood fell over my eyes and I walked into a lamp post, causing my other friend to crash into me.

Her heavy duty wallet chains hit the back of my leg and I've been recovering in bed ever since.

Teenage rock fan fashions... pah! Pass those hotpants!

Ammopogo

Ooooh, steady — hotpants?

A FASHION FAUX PAS, FOR SURE

 

FINALLY, I HAVE ARRIVED

It is me, The Human Dictionary. I'm not here to bore you, I'm here to enlighten you.

As this is my first edition, I will send two words and their meanings.

Beg: means to ask for something. Example: "Please print me."

Threat: expression of intent. Example: "Print me or I'll burn down WLW Towers."

The Human Dictionary

So...

WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU SAYING?

 

WLW

How can you slag off Paul Oskar? He was great! He was something original, rather than cheesy Europop.

He was the best thing ever to happen to Eurovision, including those Croatian girls in lycra hotpants and, of course, Terry Wogan.

Icelandic music rules.

Pablo Marmite

I might have agreed, had it not been

FOR THIS YEAR'S SLOVENIAD ENTRY!