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April 15, 2002

BIG BOB FLAPPER If you had to snog a politician, WLW, who would you play tonsil hockey with? Heaven forbid!

SHE WHO LOST THE PLOT There's no business like show business... there is also no business like waste disposal management, but they haven't made a song about that one yet. They haven't?

JEZZA Jezza (The Tree Hugger) is out at the moment. Please state your name, address and your tree's name after the beep. Hi, my name is WLW...

 

POETRY CORNER

I have a friend
Gertrude is her name
She sometimes lives in my pocket
And brushes her green mane
At night she sleeps at the end of my bed
The only problem is
She only really exists in my head

The Perplexed Ninja Crow

My 'friend' is called Barnsley —

HE LIVES IN MY LAVA LAMP

 

DIDN'T YOU ALWAYS WANT TO KNOW THAT:

  • A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no-one knows why.
  • Heinz Ketchup leaving the bottle travels at 25 miles per year.
  • There is a place in Norway called Hell?
  • 2.5 cans of Spam are consumed every second.

Spandex Badger

What a mind of thoroughly useless facts

YOU ARE, MY FURRY FRIEND

 

PJ AND DUNCAN

Does anyone remember the days before they morphed into Ant and Dec? More importantly, does anyone remember their songs.

Lets Get Ready To Rumble was the soundtrack to my early years of music and I genuinely believe, Eternal Love was written about my first girlfriend.

WLW, are you a fan?

NinjaCow

Of your first girlfriend?

NEVER MET HER... YOUR HONOUR

 

GIRL ON THE OATMEAL BOX

Being the bored High Wycombean that I am, I took time to mull over your questions:

  1. 100mph.
  2. The penguins only live in the fridge.
  3. Reverse psychology — they tell you to drive through so you'll stop.
  4. No.
  5. Book to help you find another word that means the same thing.

I hope the world seems less confusing.

Jingle

Now — if only we could remember

WHAT THE QUESTIONS WERE

 

THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE GEEK

Who will join me in this celebration of Planet Earth's most socially inadequate specimens? Yes, we geeky ones will one day take over all industries.

Think of it. Geeky football players, geeky bartenders, geeky soap stars (I'll overlook accountants, politicians etc because they're geeks anyway).

So, who will join me? How about you, WLW?

The Little Silver Moonbaby

Me? A geek?

S'NEVER GONNA HAPPEN

 

RE: LOOKIELIKEYS

Thank you Jezza for that lovely insight into how you see things, but it is completely not true. I look absolutely nothing like Harry Potter.

Now for the revenge part of this letter: I have it on good authority that Jezza is the spitting image of Bernard from the Black Books TV series.

No, I've not heard of it before either, but I'm assured that it's true.

Skutter Bob

Never heard of Black Books?

'TIS A MIGHTY FINE PROG

 

RELIGIOUS CULTS

After the Birmingham meeting I was thinking to myself who decides when a cult is big enough to be called a religion? And if a religion becomes less popular, does it become a cult?

And why are cults frowned upon and thought of as dangerous just because they don't hold the views of the majority? I swear the majority are wrong.

Is this an official cult, WLW? I know there's a lot of questions here, but it's 3am and I'm giddy.

Jeffery Pig

Too much thinking for 3am —

GRAB A TEDDY AND THINK OF BUNNIES