The Mega-Zine Museum

April 12—13, 2002

NINJA COW Are the Digi crew feeling intimidated by your ever-growing artistic talents? You started off poorly but you've excelled yourself. Cheers mum.

JEZZA Every tree is sacred, every tree is good. If a tree is wasted, God gets quite irate. Nuff respec' to trees.

SUGARED VENOM And the moral of the story children... be veeeerrry careful with cartons of double cream! And when opening those Muller Light things.

WLW

What's happened to the nation's most down to earth of chatshow hosts?

I am talking of none other than Richard and Judy. It's so depressing watching them forget their lines, drop their papers, forget what channel they're on, live!

Judy, especially, doesn't appear to do her homework. She recently compared a violent computer game about football hooligans to a Daffy Duck cartoon!

Replace them with Fluffy and Milton (and me), I say.

MuSeD

She's not always the full shilling

AND HE'S IRRITATING ON ANY CHANNEL!

5 THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU'RE A FROG:

1. Eat flies
2. Sit on lilypads
3. Sing that frog song "pom pompom tiddly pom"
4. Get eaten by my cats
5. Hide under rocks!

Sounds great, no?

The Perplexed Ninja Crow

Hmmm... doesn't sound like

THE LIFE OF RILEY TO ME

'ZINERS

Where have the old 'Ziners gone? Well, I'm back, but I don't suppose I count.

I miss the old 'Zine wars and the long-Winded messages about absolutely anything that others replied to with intelligent/funny replies. Where has that all gone to?

But I don't miss the old 'Band X' vs 'Band Y' wars, they were pointless. Now, penguins vs ducks, potential there. My money's on penguins, what with them being bigger and less stupid.

Silvan Draconis

Yes, speaking of pointless missives!

AND PENGUINS, DEFINITELY

SHE WHO LOST THE PLOT

Stars In Their Pies is a great idea, but I think I could go one better!

Instead of University Challenge, I thought we could create Tuna-versity Challenge, where we find students who are allergic to tuna.

Then, on the show, which will be presented by the genius of primetime, Dale Winton, they will be forced to eat tuna solidly for thirty minutes.

The team with the most serious reaction wins!

Secluded Rainbow

Well it sounds like a winner to me —

GOTTA BE BETTER THAN TOP GEAR

OI, STOP IT

I wish to write to 'Zine in defence of The Man With The Golden Bun. For a while now he's been getting stick on here for not being funny or original, with no justification.

It all started with Lemming Curd and his poking fun at Mr Bun. It must stop. Be nice to the lad and give him some polos or wine gums.

Thank you for listening.

1929

You his brother or something?

BUT YOU'RE RIGHT... LOVE, PEACE, ETC

'ZINERS

With the news that one of the band members of S Club 7 has left, S Club are faced with a few problems.

Not only has Paul Cattermole (how the hell do I know that?) left the band, he is going on to pursue a METAL CAREER! Good Lord!

Not only that, S Club now have the very time consuming problem of deciding on a name for the band. S Club 6 doesn't quite have the same ring to it, does it?

Cow In The Shed

I'm rather hoping they merge with

HEAR'SAY AND MOVE TO CHINA

RULES TO LIFE

1. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
2. If you give someone £20 and you never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
3. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half.
4. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
5. When everything is coming at you, it usually means you're in the wrong lane.

Angelic entity

If your name is David Beckham,

AVOID ARGENTINIANS AT ALL COSTS!

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