Mega-Zine
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April 3, 2002

EVIL CLANGER Why do cows always eat grass? Because their hooves make eating a bacon buttie very difficult indeed.

FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE Le Enfant Terrible — from Jamie Oliver to the lead singer of Sum 41 in one swift haircut! He does, doesn't he? Busy boy.

BLUE WOLFIE I know! Having read all the glorious letters on Mega-zine, WLW said he was PRESIDENT of the Happy People, and you can't have a FEMALE President, can you? Over to our Irish 'Ziners!

 

THE CRYSTAL COUNTESS

Wow — another 'Ziner from Kettering! Although Kett has Wickies, it's no place to hold a 'Zine meeting because there's nothing to do!

Now, the place to hold a meeting is Northampton. It's got a Mega-Bowl, a 16-screen cinema and hundreds of great places to eat. So it's the obvious choice for Northamptonshire 'Ziners.

Unholy Dark Knight

I'm just looking up Northampton —

WHOA, ARE YOU MAD? NO SEASIDE?

 

CALLING ALL EARTHLINGS

Following WLW's revelation that he/she/it "morphed from a place far away", I have deduced that WLW is in fact... an alien.

Regarding its origin, WLW is from a land at least as far away as deepest, darkest Grimsby. I bet WLW received formal training at the Mars Central Training School for witty editors.

Just wait until Immigration hear about this!

Fibreglass Monkey

Wasn't clever enough for Mars Central —

I WENT TO SNICKERS COMPREHENSIVE

 

DEAR MEGAZINE

After a recent trip to Ipswich, I have strange things to report:

  1. I actually saw some women!
  2. The prices were scandalous, although the watering holes were rather grand.
  3. I spent an entire day trying to find a pen friend's address and, when I got there, she didn't even live there! So who have I been writing to? A man who wears a tutu and likes to be called Jane on Saturdays? Scary!

The Grey Man

As my nan ALWAYS says:

"THERE'S NOWT AS QUEER AS FOLK"

 

HOLIDAY DESTINATIONS I LIKE:

  1. 'Zine Towers
  2. Amsterdam (with my bestest friends)
  3. Montana (bears/men with moustaches)
  4. Peru (Macchu Piccu trail — romantic)
  5. Southend (yes... stop laughing!)
  6. Hastings (stop laughing now!)
  7. The Alps
  8. Alton Towers Hotel (Coca-Cola Suite)
  9. Venice
  10. Muumi Land, Finland

The Snorkmistress

The Coca-Cola Suite?

NO WAY, REALLY? SAD!

 

DEAR WLW

In a psychology essay, I typed "the study was done by the dining hall at lunchtime", meaning that the study was done in a classroom next to the dining hall.

However, the computer grammar check got a little confused and suggested "the dining hall did the study at lunchtime" as a better sentence!

King of the Telegraph Poles

Computers eh?

GOTTA LOVE 'EM

 

WLW, 'ZINERS AND DAVORD

I have returned from the Birmingham meeting and want to tell you about the very kewl thing I bought there.

Apparently, it's called a Calimba piano and it has five little metal things which you flick and it makes noises.

Oh, and on the train home, guess who was sat opposite me? None other than Brandon Boyd! OK, so maybe it wasn't, but it was a very good lookalike.

Princess Of The Deviants

What a full day!

SO, GIVE US A TUNE THEN

 

'ZINERS AND WLW

With all this Pop Idol poo everywhere, I started to think about other things that could be unchained other than melodies. Like bicycles.

Can you imagine unchained bikes? And I live near Oxford. Chaos!

My conclusion? Everything to do with Pop Idol is cruel. Can I have a pic of a bike?

Drawing of a motorcycle.

Mim, Nice But Dim

Well, it's more of a motorbike,

BUT YOU GET THE IDEA