Mega-Zine
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April 5—6, 2002

LILAC LEOPARD You seem to be mentioning S Club 7 way too much. I think we need to take you to see Dr Robb. I think you may have contracted S Clubitis. It's the stress of knowing Paulie's leaving.

DISSIMULATION My English teacher once told me that there's a novel inside us all. I'm thinking of having mine surgically removed. Sounds painful.

DESPOTIC BANANA Aaaagh! Pop Idol Easter eggs, it's enough to put you off chocolate... well... almost. Steady on!

 

WLW

I'm surprised at you. How could you diss Mongolia? It's a great country, big and flat and full of yaks and dinosaur bones.

Plus, my dad saw a documentary about it and they interviewed some yak farmers who turned out to be Arsenal fans! In fact, I bet the yaks supported Arsenal as well.

I like the word yak.

Loominous Froot

I like the word Arsenal, but that don't

PUT MONGOLIA ON MY 'MUST SEE' LIST!

 

HELLO

I'm XPhile2868, from the faraway land of the internet. Last night, I talked to Milton and Me. I hope that her friends in 'Zineland are my friends.

As I am new, WLW, can you draw me anything of your choice?

And, as far as the gender debate goes, methinks you are male.

Drawing of a small red fluffy bunny rabbit.

XPhile2868 (He of the Internet)

I decided to draw my friend's bunny —

HE'S CALLED FRANK. HE'S TWO.

 

WORKMEN

Why do workmen only decide to use their loud equipment between the hours of 10am and midday, my prime sleeping hours? Do they not realise that just 20 yards away, I am enjoying the best hours of the day?

Surely there is a law against this. If not, I propose the Young People Sleeping, Be Quiet Act.

I await in anticipation, Mr Blair.

Exasperated Bluetit

He's never in this country long enough

TO PROPOSE ANY NEW ACT OR LAW

 

THE UNITED TRUTH

I live in Leicester and I've been using the lingo for years, duck. If you don't believe me, you can come round for a cuppa and I'll teach you a few other phrases too like "mardy".

In fact, everyone is welcome to come round, then you can all judge for yourselves what Leicester is like!

Soap Sud

As tempting as that sounds,

I THINK I'LL STAY PUT

 

'ZINE

Why are you only just asking now if WLW is evil? If you'd really been watching him/her you'd already know. Hell, I haven't engaged in any espionage and I know the answer to that.

WLW has already admitted to supporting Arsenal. How much more evil (apart from Rottenham) can you get?

Sapphistication

Chelsea? Man United? Dirty Leeds?

THIS LIST IS ENDLESS

 

HOW COME...

  • How come you can see glasses, when they are see-thru?
  • How come you can't see the wind, but you can see the effects of the wind?
  • How come, when you order pizza and tell the man to be quick, it takes him 28 minutes and 39 seconds to get to the house?
  • How come ice cream is so-oo lovely?
  • How come when you try and eat foil, it hurts like hell?

Just wondering

BlueWolfie

How come you have nothing better to do

WITH YOUR TIME YOUNG MAN?

 

THE CATNAPPER'S POODLE

In answer to some of your questions about superstitions...

It is thought to be unlucky to walk under a ladder because the ladder is said to represent the stocks that some nasty executioner would hang you from.

Also, throwing salt over your shoulder is supposedly throwing salt in the eye of Satan.

At least that's what my brain tells me. He's called Brian.

1929

What about the umbrella indoors thing?

ANY IDEAS?