The Mega-Zine Museum

March 29—30, 2002

LILAC LEOPARD Did you know peccadillo was a word? As are prolix, cavalcade and mellifluous. Now, if only I knew what they meant. Any ideas? I think they're four of the S Club Juniors.

PESSIMISTIC PEANUT WLW, will we see you at Ozzfest this year? I'll be the one getting escorted out by security, so make sure you wave, OK? OK, will do.

COW IN THE SHED Wouldn't it be funny if the bottom of a dessert packet said "Do not turn upside down"? Hilarious.

SIX OF ONE AND HALF A DOZEN OF THE OTHER

In Superdrug in Bury (where SchizoNo3 works) there was a large lady at the till buying a magazine about how to lose weight and look good — and she had a kingsize Aero on top of the magazine!

Doesn't that just defeat the object?

Jeffery Pig

Yes, like ordering a Big Mac, fries

AND A DIET COKE!

WLW

I was bored so I went hunting under my bed and found a bowl of cereal. It was so old that a small colony of bacteria had grown in it and built an entire city whth surrounding countryside.

My parents wouldn't let me keep them — apparently the novelty of creating life would soon wear off and my mum would end up taking them for walks and organising the seasons/weather etc.

Beautiful Monstrosity

Yeah, but that's part of the mum gig —

ORGANISING STUFF

NIGHTMARES

Last night I had an 'orrible nightmare. I woke up in a cold sweat, thinking I was in Barnsley.

I was the strange third member of the Pet Shop Boys and we went to do a gig in Rockville. When we got there, only Parsley Possum, Kellogulation and Noel Edmonds came to see us. I felt really insulted that only they had turned up, so I walked off stage.

It ended when my postman gave me a leather jacket.

1929

Weird. I dreamt I was bald, 8ft tall

AND MARRIED TO GEORGE 'DUBYA' BUSH!

WLW

I love Skittles
They are the best
Yum yum yum!

There we are then. My addition to the corner that is poetry!

Am I great or am I great? No need for applause.

Love you lots and jelly tots,

Temporarily Insane II

Just temporarily insane?

REALLY?

A SINCERE APOLOGY

I feel the need to apologise. My city has bestowed Gareth Gates upon the country. I feel utterly ashamed and hang my head.

I am full of remorse and, please believe me, I did not vote for him.

Please, can you forgive me? Please?

Sweet Smell Of Psychosis

Well SOMEBODY voted for him —

AND THEY CAN NEVER BE FORGIVEN

POETRY CORNER

I visited the spork website and found a selection of poems about sporks. Here's one:

Spork, oh how I adore thee,
Beautiful piece of art.
I sit alone in my bed,
No thoughts in my head,
Except for those of my spork.

Sister Sledge Brother

There's a spork website?

AND... ER... WHAT IS A SPORK THEN?

THE BRUCE LIST

Just a few more Bruces to add to that list:

How about a picture, WLW? It wouldn't take up much room and he'd be soooo happy if he saw himself on TV!

Last Splash

I have no idea what HE looks like,

BUT THIS IS HIS ICKLE BOWL!

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