The Mega-Zine Museum
March 8—9, 2002
THE DUCK IN THE HAT The day is just the bit between waking up and going back to sleep. Certainly is in my house.
INFERNAL FELINE So, why did the dish run away with the spoon anyway? There was a whole cow/laughing dog thing going on. All got a bit messy.
THE PERPLEXED NINJA CROW My friend was once engaged to a lamp post... but it stood her up at the church because it had seen the light! Geddit? Oh dear.
POETRY CORNER
Brigadier, oh Brigadier
Do you ever drink a pint of beer?
When morning comes, you drink port
Do you also have some snuff to snore?
The evening nigh and you're on sherry
Getting more than a little merry
And as your cheeks are reddening
It's time to go to bed and sing
Of battles won and fought and lost
And dream of kittens
Jeamlander
Ooooh, it was all going so well —
BUT KITTENS?
HOW TO...
Delia Smith has a programme called How To Cook and Alan Titchmarsh now has a show called How To Be A Gardener.
I await an MP's How To Lie and Hear'Say's record company's How To Be A Puppeteer.
Compelling viewing, yes?
The One With The Mighty Antlers
So cynical
FOR ONE SO YOUNG!
THE BRITS
May you never be as bored as I was when I watched the Brits! Truly, it makes you question the "music" industry!
I mean, Best British Song — S Club 7?
And, my personal favourite: Best Pop Group — EVERYONE knows there's no such thing!
I've got to go back into therapy now. Remember kids, the Brits are EVIL!
Polly's Cracker
I still can't stop movin'
TO THE FUNKY FUNKY BEAT
HOW TO LOOK COOL WHILE PICKING UP A FRISBEE:
- Approach the frisbee with a slow, assured walk.
- Upon reaching the projectile, pause and make eyes at passing bonitas.
- Slowly lower yourself into a squat, eyes firmly on the chicas.
- Now look towards the frisbee and grasp it firmly.
- Look back towards the babes and slowly rise up.
You have now picked up a frisbee.
Wesley Pipes
An invaluable guide
FOR WHICH WE THANK YOU
DEAREST WLW
We 'Ziney folk were just wondering whether you, Mavis and Davord would like the chance to give the eeeeevil Teletext bosses the slip for the day and come to the next 'Zine meeting, in London on March 29.
One good reason to come is that I am personally bringing plentiful supplies of yummy Cadbury's mini eggs, not to mention how delightful it would be for you to spend a day in our company.
So, whaddaya say?
Dissimulation
Eeeeevil bosses? But I love my boss...
I LOVE MY BOSS... I LOVE MY BOSS...
FELLOW 'ZINERS
Does anyone else remember The Riddlers? It was the coolest kids programme ever!
There was Mossop, Tiddler and Middler. They lived in a well and solved riddles from riddlestones, hence the title.
Please tell me I'm not the only one who still watches it on VHS?
TheUnitedTruth
You're the only one who still
WATCHES IT ON VHS
THINGS I WOULD NEVER DO FOR ANYONE:
- Swim all of the oceans
- Climb the highest mountains
- Cross a thousand deserts
- Brave the swamp-infested forest of the Amazon
After all, they're all pretty dumb. I mean, I get tired walking to college.
And who said romance was dead?
The Talented Mr Kipling
Who said it? Your last girlfriend
WOULD BE MY GUESS!
