The Mega-Zine Museum
December 31, 2001 — January 1, 2002
DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX WLW — ain't time funny? One minute it's flying, the next, it's going really slow. I find it always drags. Same old, same old.
BUTTERFLY OF SHADOWS The words sing and Kate Winslet don't go together very well. Neither do the words act and Kate Winslet — I've seen Titanic.
UNEDUCATED SHAMPOO I served Kate Bush at work today. Are you proud of me? I certainly am. What did she buy?
THE BRIGADIER
Am I the only one with a mental image of the Brigadier sitting in his house, smoking a pipe that stains the walls and all his RAF memorabilia yellow?
He has a bushy grey moustache and he's wearing a monocle and gas mask, and he's surrounded by Hoover attachments.
He scares the Wombles out of me...
The Gothic Womble
Well, thanks a lot — I have that
SAME MENTAL IMAGE NOW!
A BRILLIANT THING
The other day, a friend showed me a clip off the geeknet — a penguin tripping up another one, so it fell in the water. I'm hooked. I can watch it again and again, it never gets boring.
The way the penguin just sticks out its foot... the way the other penguin plunges headfirst into the water.
Tell me WLW, does this make me sad?
Pessimistic Peanut
Not at all! I've seen it too...
SO MUCH COMEDY VALUE IN PENGUINS
HELP ME, WLW, HELP ME
The other day, as a Christmas present, I was taken to see Steps — and I liked 'em! I really did!
Is there a cure? Please tell me there's a cure, WLW.
The Worryingly Schizophrenic Mr Floomb
Not unless they split up —
HEY, WHADDAYA KNOW!
POETRY CORNER
Gary Rhodes, your hair may be wild,
but I like to see my plates of food piled.
Not scattered morsels, a potato here and there,
but delicious food strewn everywhere.
Take notice of this, I think that you should.
Don't care how it looks, as long as it tastes good.
Parsley Possum
Can you believe there's now a
FOOD CHANNEL? WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?
'ZINERS
At last I've found the 'Zine e-mail address! Soon your pages will be full of my truly brilliant jokes and ponderings.
First, are curtains there to keep the light out or the darkness in?
And if you are what you eat, why haven't I turned into a small container of sild?
Until next time, my 'Ziner friends...
Bodkin Nasty
Sild — now there's a word
YOU DON'T HEAR A LOT OF THESE DAYS
ADHESIVE TAPE
When I was younger, I loved this wonderful stuff and thought it could fix anything. Now, I believe it's the root of all evil!
While wrapping presents, the tape kept attacking me and getting stuck to the wrong bits of paper.
Gift bags — now they're the way forward.
The Duck In The Hat
They are indeed! Bit of a cop-out,
BUT A LOT LESS STRESSFUL
SNOW
That's right. Snow in the North of England. I emerged from the heaven I call bed to look out of the window and find cold, white snow covering the vicinity. Plus a couple of townies throwing snowballs at each other.
After careful research, I have come to the conclusion that the townies call this fun. Unbelievable.
The Chicken Who Crossed The Road
A snowball fight or bed?
NOT EXACTLY A TOUGH CHOICE, IS IT?
