The Mega-Zine Museum
December 27, 2001
MAD CANARY You can buy fizzy jerks in Bristol! Well, that's... great to know. Really. Great to know.
BROCCOLI THE EVIL ONE Did you know that in Italy, dogs don't say "woof", they say "bau bau"? That is so cool! What is this — interesting info day?
THE CORNFLAKE KID How many 'Ziners does it take to change a lightbulb? No idea, so let's try it. Well I would, but there's grass to watch grow, paint to watch dry, yadda yadda...
THE BRIGADIER
I'm pretty sure he is already an existing 'Ziner using another ID. He has the sarcasm and wit of Possum, the oddness of Broccoli and the downright loopyness of She Who Lost The Plot.
He also has his gimmick of the posh guy who's a bit on the nutty side!
I wonder who it could be? Only two people know — that's The Brigadier and WLW!
Fluffy The Evil One
Well I definitely know...
I'M NOT SO SURE HE KNOWS THOUGH!
'ZINERS
How much proof do you need? In response to the Pessimistic Peanut, WLW identified Ipswich Town's home stadium. Most women can't grasp the relevance of the "man with the whistle", let alone associate a team with their football ground.
The fact that WLW either committed to memory, or took the time to research, this useless fact is undeniable proof that he is male.
You can stop pretending, WLW, you've been exposed!
Parsley Possum
I certainly have not been exposed —
THAT WAS A HIDEOUS MISUNDERSTANDING
WLW
My television keeps messing Teletext up. Today I was reading 'Zine when part of Goss appeared on the screen. The combination produced this:
Surprisingly nice sandwiches. Peanut butter and banana. Omelette and banana. Former Take That frontman Gary Barlow.
Enough to put you off sandwiches for life, isn't it!
The One With The Mighty Antlers
I'm not so sure that isn't what
THE PAGE SAID ANYWAY!
BOB MONKHOUSE
I am certain this man is Satan. Well, him and that bloke from Changing Rooms. Not only does Mr Monkhouse present perhaps the worst daytime TV show, Wipeout, but he has the comedy style of a dead donkey.
On a darker note, what's happened to Noel Edmonds? Is he on QVC? I met him once at the BBC studios. I've never really been the same... gunge gunge gunge.
Kellogulation
I think he is on QVC, yes —
FLOGGING THOSE AWFUL JUMPERS
'ZINERS
OK, so, this is my little plea for a perfect 'Zine boyfriend.
He must be around 15, single, into great music like Smashing Pumpkins/Nirvana/Beatles, enjoy Christmas, be funny, not the Man with the Golden Bun.
Any offers?
Angelic Entity
You'll be flooded with offers, though
YOU MAY WANNA RETHINK THE BEATLES
LEMMING CURD/WLW
OK, I'm here to educate you about Pokemon, cos in my mispent youth I had a crush on James from Team rocket (I mean, why? Nowadays I'm more of a Ken Digimon kinda gal!)
Well, here's what you wanted to know — Pickachu hasn't evolved because he hasn't come into contact with a thunderstone!
Now, sing with me, "Gotta catch them all"!
Secluded Rainbow
Now we know. All that needs explaining
IS WHAT ON EARTH IS A THUNDERSTONE?
WLW
My contribution to Poetry Corner:
I'm glad I'm not from Sweden
I'm glad I live right here
'Cos all there is in Sweden
Is nudists and IKEA
Noble Prize, here I come.
Milton and me
It's fantastic! How we laughed —
DAVORD STILL IS
