The Mega-Zine Museum
December 5, 2001
BARBIE TRUMP TRUMP (111) Mum told me that we were moving to a big old house in the country. She never told me which one though. That's mums — secretive.
KELLOGULATION I wanna be in a list, any list. A list about hairy-backed men, a list about silly people with stupid names, any list will do. A list of people desperate for acceptance, maybe?
MESSED UP NUMB CHICK Howdy! Just checking that I got the address right. You did. So, whassup?
THE MOLE
I consider this programme to be the only decent thing on Channel 5.
I have noticed that there is a Welsh person called Daffyd. Call me paranoid, but this sounds a lot like "Davord" if you say it to yourself over and over again.
No? Must be just me then.
Pete the Destroyer
Daffyd IS Welsh for Davord —
SO, LIKE, WEIRD OR WHAT?
GUESS WHAT?
You've hit the big time, WLW. No longer just a Teletext co-ordinator, 'Ziners — last week, WLW graced the pages of my GCSE maths mock exam!
So, does WLW actually stand for Win Lose Win, as the probability question stated? Or is it a conspiracy by evil maths teachers?
Lil' Miss Big Boy
In all probability —
THE CONSPIRACY THEORY
BROCCOLI THE EVIL ONE,
Surely the most insane of all 'Ziners? Anyone know of a good asylum where she and all the other insane 'Ziners can get committed?
I mean, I know that 'Zine is slightly eccentric, but some people are just downright loopy. Take The Brigadier for example — scares the Wombles out of me...
The Gothic Womble
Scares the Wombles out of all of us —
HE NEEDS A WARD TO HIMSELF
DEAR 'ZINE,
With reference to the recent talk of bizarre museums on 'Zine, my music teacher owns a pencil. But this is no ordinary pencil. For down the side of said pencil, it is written: "Cumberland Pencil Museum, Keswick."
Imagine that... how excited is it possible for a person to get about graphite?
I'm going there now to investigate. Anyone care to join me?
Ms Jane Lane
Well, I'd love to but, you know, I'm...
HELP ME OUT HERE, SOMEONE!
PONG
Why does no-one talk of Pong? Perhaps the greatest game ever.
WLW, I'm sure you played Pong, unless, of course, you are really a 12-year-old girl, then you'd have no idea what I'm talking about.
WLW — I challenge you to a game of Pong! Long live Pong!
Lemming Curd
OK, now I like to think of myself as
KEWL AND STREET... BUT, PONG?
A POEM FOR 'ALTERNATIVE' PEOPLE
You claim to be different from the rest
'Cos of your music and how you dress
But, alas, oh what a shame
It seems that you are just the same
O followers of "alternative" trends
Your arrogance sends me round the bend
Civil Disobedient
Interesting addition to Poetry Corner —
I AWAIT THE HATE MAIL
DOUGLAS
I just want to declare my love for Douglas (AKA the little butter man in the Lurpak adverts!)
His trumpet-playing skills are only surpassed by his cute little tux. Ours is a forbidden love as he doesn't really exist, but a girl can hope, can't she?
Surely there is someone who shares my feelings? No? Just me then.
Polly's Cracker
I think you are most definitely
ON YER OWN HERE
