The Mega-Zine Museum
December 3, 2001
THE TERRIFYING TRIPOD WLW — could you tell me if my last letter was printed? Yes — definitely, whatever it was.
PARSLEY POSSUM When my washing machine shakes violently, is it expressing disgust at having to wash my clothes? I would think so. Are you not he of the Dennis the Menace boxer shorts?
PABLO MARMITE Wouldn't it be ironic if NatWest turned my trendy wine bar into a bank? Opening a bank — yes, that would be ironic!
WLW,
Please can I be the first to have a Christmas picture? Something not too complex, just a tree or something like that.
Thank you!
Girl On The Oatmeal Box
Santa in shades — who needs a tree
WHEN YOU CAN HAVE SANTA IN SHADES?
RECIPE FOR A POP GROUP
- Take a thousand hopefuls
- Add a camera crew and three judges (one evil)
- Leave to simmer for five episodes
- Sieve out all talent
- Mix remaining mixture with a large amount of publicity and propaganda — remember to add lots of merchandise
- Leave to air in the papers for a while
- Voila! You have a pop group.
Satan's Rubber Duck
Mmmmmm — what's that yummy smell?
A HEADY MIX OF IRONY AND SARCASM?
THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU'RE BORED
Part 1:
- Start a global debate on whether fridges can be gothic
- Throw rubber haddock around whilst yelling: "Hail to the fish!"
- Count every single grain of rice in the house
- Run around screaming with a sheet on your head
- Write a list.
Part 2 coming soon!
Butterfly of Shadows
Or you could knuckle down and study...
(PAUSE)... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
STICKERS ON APPLES
What complete idiot made that up, then? Who in their right mind would want to sit sticking stickers on apples all day?
The person behind this should be shot for the following reasons:
- Whenever I take the label off, it leaves behind a large mess making the apple inedible.
- It is impossible to put the sticker in the bin without putting your whole hand down there too.
Pete the Destroyer
Yes — I agree...
FIDDLY, STICKY, IRRITATING
EXPLANATION
I would just like to explain my name.
Kellogulation is what happens when you leave your cornflakes alone with the milk for too long. Kind of like when you're in the bath too long, the cornflakes will soak up all the milk and become "Kellogulated".
Not that your body soaks up all the water in your bath, unless of course you are some kind of sponge monster, but anyway...
Kellogulation
Well, thank you for clearing that up —
'COS I WAS WONDERING, REALLY
RECORD FAIRS
Don't you just love them? You know, where you find that rare, 100 copies only, 7 inch single with free sticker that you've been looking for for ever... only £20?
Such a bargain, because you know it's worth, like, £120 but the dealer doesn't. The fool. Then you get home and consult your "rare records" book, and realise it's only worth £15.
Surely that doesn't just happen to me?
Queenie Careena
I gave up on record fairs. People just
DON'T LOOK AFTER 'EM LIKE I DO
WLW AND 'ZINERS,
Has anyone else discovered the wonder that is toe socks? They're sooooo good, patterns, pictures, stripes, wow!
And fitting each ickle toe into the toe hole.
Anyone else appreciate them? We could start The Toe Sock Appreciation Society!
Pink Sock
No, let's not. There are so many other
APPRECIATION SOCIETIES TO START
