The Mega-Zine Museum
December 2, 2001
SUGARED VENOM Why is it that when you finally get what you want, you don't want it anymore but you want something else? Just life, innit?
SIR WHENCE PITCHFORK If the Big Bossman of Teletext Ltd read this page, how long would we have left? I reckon about 20 minutes, so pack yer bags and run!
THE ONE WITH THE MIGHTY ANTLERS My English supply teacher looks like Afroman. This worries me. What should I do? Change schools — and quick.
WLW
I have worked out your little scheme! If someone asks for, say, a toaster, they get something else, like a 24-in-1 Swiss army knife.
Therefore, I won't ask for what I want you to draw. So, WLW, can you please NOT draw me an orange teapot? Please, do NOT draw me one!
Satan's Rubber Duck
OK... but only 'cos I can't do orange!
HOWEVER, BLUE? WE LIKE? FETCHING?
B*CKCH*T
You can now text B*ckch*t — when will we get this? I know some 'Ziners (Pluggy!) think mobiles are for Trendies, but I love mine, with its kids' TV ringtones, 300 free texts a month (which I use for 'Zine!) and free e-mail (which is what I'm using to send this message).
What do you think, WLW? When can we text 'Zine?
Fluffy The Evil One
The words "hell" and "freezes"
SPRING TO MIND! MOBILES ARE EVIL
DAVORD
Are you controlling my mind? Today, in college, I wrote down that the day was Thargsday. Does Davord want a day all of his own or something?
I need an eighth day in the week. There's never enough time to do college work and important things like watching TV, sleeping, eating and lazing around.
Can we adopt Davord as patron saint of all 'Ziners while I'm here?
Black Widow
I'd ask him but, frankly, all he does
IS LAZE AROUND EVERY DAY ANYWAY
HOW TO KNOW YOU'VE MADE IT
Surefire ways to know you've made your name as an established 'Ziner...
- You get a picture at the bottom of your screen.
- A 'Ziner puts you on their list of "If 'Ziners were..."
- A B*ckch*tter uses your name.
- WLW remembers who you are.
And none of these have happened yet! Oh well, there's no such thing as instant fame, I suppose.
Girl On The Oatmeal Box
I DO remember you, though, you're...
THE... NO... SORRY, IT'S GONE
ATTENTION BEVERAGE DRINKERS!
With the dandelion and burdock debate gripping the nation, I beg you not to overlook the humblest of drinks: our good friend... lime cordial.
The humblest of all beverages, it brings refreshment to sweaty ones on summer days and gas to those who drink in excess.
So, next time you drink d&b, don't forget our good friend, the lime. I know his brother and he ain't pretty.
The Suited Stranger
Oooh lime cordial, surely THE best...
AND SO MUCH YOU CAN PUT IN IT!
CAREERS, WHY SO HARD?
WLW, why is it so hard to find a career in life? My brother made it — he sells windmills to miniature golf-courses, but I'm just pushing buttons like a chimpanzee!
I wanna dance! I wanna be a dancer! NOTHING'S GONNA STOP ME!
Avant Garde Dog
I wanted to work for Cadburys, but
LOOK AT ME NOW? OKAY, BAD EXAMPLE
YEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAWWWWWW!!!
Ahm back and ahm mad. Yes-sireee.
Brigadier, you side-windin', yellow-bellied, no good mangy son of a prairie dawg! Yer think yer can bust in here with yer greenhorn tenderfoot talk an' start pushin' folks around?
Well, now you got me to deal with. Every time I polish ma six-gun, it's you I'm a-thinkin' of. Now draw!
Wild Bill Hiccup
Suddenly, I feel like I'm in
A PARALLEL UNIVERSE
