Mega-Zine Museum: Letters

November 8, 2001

FRANK THE POTATO Is it just me that always screws up badly and regularly? I thought as much. No, there's me too.

SATAN'S RUBBER DUCK Isn't it annoying when someone stops typing in the middle of... Yes! And you know what else I...

FLYINGPURPLEPEOPLEEATER Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak? I think that's very possibly the reason.

'ZINERS

Things that you never see people do in the wonderful world of TV — Part 2:

Whisper when talking about someone in the same room
Trip over the carpet/rug
Put the heating on
Feed the pets

Had to get that out of my system.

The Cornflake Kid

And when they say they'll meet someone

LATER — THEY NEVER SAY WHEN!

BOWLING

When me and my friends went bowling, the staff there were so unhelpful. They chucked us out over such a petty little thing.

During an argument over who won the last game, my friend laid down across the aisle so no-one else could bowl, until she was declared winner of the last game.

What have our bowling alleys come to?

TheUnitedTruth

Yes — I think I'm beginning to see

THE FLAW IN YOUR REASONING

ESCALATORS

People from Birmingham do not walk up escalators, they get on and stand.

For this reason, I always make sure I get the most out of Brummy-free escalators whenever I leave the city. Even if I don't have anywhere in particular to go.

Sir Whence Pitchfork

And people who stand ON THE LEFT...

THEY SHOULD BE DEALT WITH SEVERELY

NATIVITY

Excuse me? Don't you think I should be playing Gabriel? That's if WLW decides to give me back my halo (they're not cheap you know!)

Hey, Miss McPhisto, I wrote in about U2 at Slane Castle but WLW didn't print it.

Oh, and Man With The Golden Bun — 3rd gear is my favourite!

U2 rock, love,

Angel Of Harlem

The halo looks better on me than you —

IT'S MINE NOW... MINE!

HI WLW

First appearances can be deceiving. At first, I thought Fluffy The Evil One was a girl (sorry, my mistake). Then again, I also thought the Possum was arrogant (not so) and the Man With The Golden Bun was funny. Nuff said.

Could you, maybe, possibly, draw a picture of an individual Trendy for me? Oh no... they don't exist.

Angelic Entity

I'm all pictured out anyway,

YOU'VE HAD ALL MY BEST STUFF

WLW

I don't know if Mavis does this, but certainly some cats do. They have a habit of bringing their owners little "presents". These presents are usually made up of a few headless mice under the kitchen table.

I was wondering if Davord leaves headless people under your kitchen table?

She Who Lost The Plot

He used to, but we had a long talk.

MAVIS, HOWEVER — LAW UNTO HERSELF

A FEW QUESTIONS:

Why are cats so good at staring contests?
Why is it that the past two nights I have woken up at 4.48am with a craving for Tesco Value cheese?
Why is it that, if lettuce is good for you, then eating grass isn't?
Why is it that all these questions seem to begin with the word 'why'?

The Blue Fairy

I get that cheese craving too!

THOUGH MINE TENDS TO BE AT 3.16am

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