The Mega-Zine Museum
September 4, 2001
ZANDRA If it were a matter of life or Hear'Say for all eternity: Mavis or chocolate? Mavis, of course... and chocolate!
JINGLE Anyone here from the boring place of High Wycombe? I know you're there. Unlikely, I'd have thought.
THE DARK BLUE PENGUIN OF DESPAIR If music be the food of love, then will someone get me a double cheeseburger! You want fries with that? What drink would you like? Extra large meal?
THE CLOWNS, THE CLOWNS!
I hope you print this, 'Cos it's for the goodness of all mankind ('Zinekind, anyway).
I would just like to warn everyone about the recent outbreak of clowns sweeping the nation.
My dear friend, Monsieur Chickenhead, and I are trying to keep them under control but it's difficult, tres difficult.
I can feel their presence, my pretties, they are coming closer!
Madame Flutterby
You know what? You are starting to
SCARE ME, BIG TIME!
WLW,
I was shocked and appalled to hear that your opinion of Less Than Jake was even less than a Trendie's... I mean, how can a band whose members collect Pez Dispensers possibly be bad? Just try the extremely tasty candy rectangles and you'll see — the band must be cool!
Go forth and eat Pez! But don't forget the music. Less Than Jake's fun-filled music rules, and their stage shows are the most awesome I have ever seen.
The Great Destroyer
But I didn't know about the Pez thing —
THAT SOOO MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE
LIKE I SAYS...
The way I sees it, a letter takes two/three weeks to get printed, k? This means that, by the time this gets printed, a whole lot of us folks will be back at school! Isn't that great?
It also means us terrestrial folk will be a couple episodes into Buffy and we'll be even closer to American Pie 2!
Onyx
PS: Nine Inch Nails kick ass, discuss.
Us Cable folk, As If, E4, real soon!
NINE INCH NAILS? NO, THEY DON'T
TELESCOPE THE VAIL IN BRUM
Huddersfield? Glamorous? Having lived here all my life, I have to disagree. It's more like a haven for Garage loving trendies who like to nod their heads to "music" in yo-yo like fashion.
I would bet my collection of cold baked beans (1054 at last count) that it's the dullest town in England. The fact that I've had to resort to collecting cold baked beans proves it!
Her Who Has Faith No More
Ladies and Gentlemen...
WE HAVE A WINNER!
BROKEN BISCUITS
Yesterday, whilst out shopping, I was amazed to see a middle-aged man in a Boyzone top complaining to the shop assistant in Poundland.
He was complaining because he had bought an assortment of BROKEN BISCUITS and was shocked that one was in perfect condition!
I bet he's the editor of B*ckch*t.
Custard Cream
I bet he is too —
OLD FUSSYPANTS
SPAGHETTI JUNCTION
'Ziners and WLW,
Don't bother going to Spaghetti Junction, it's a big let down. It's all grey and concrete. Not at all like spaghetti. Not even that many roads, just a couple.
It's a big fat fraud. There isn't even a whiff of pasta.
SkY fLy
The fact that it's impossible to get
OFF OF IS ANOTHER REASON, I SAY
'ZINERS,
The other day my dad was scaring me. First, he was watching Hear'Say and then, he was going on about how he wanted to go out with Danny and Noel, the cheesy chappies from the band.
I respect the fact that my dad was just a teeny weeny bit tipsy but even so... I was left feeling very frightened!
The DimGirl (from the molehole)
Never mind that — Danny and Shrek...
SEPARATED AT BIRTH? I THINK SO
