Mega-Zine
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August 31 — September 1, 2001

PINK SPARKLY FRAGGLE Oh dear — if you are what you eat, that makes me cheap, fast and easy. And makes me spicy with a hint of Parmesan.

CHICALOCA I admit to being both an admirer of Backchat and Mega-zine — what does this make me... answers on a postcard. Please do NOT inundate me with replies, chaps.

PINK MAFIA See that list of the Top 100 Kids TV programmes? Where was the Pink Panther? What's that about? An outrage!

 

THINGS THAT REALLY ANNOY ME Part 1:

  • Crumbs in the butter,
  • melted Crunchies,
  • when you buy a new CD and your Walkman batteries run out,
  • blunt pencils,
  • those weirdos who smile on their way to work,
  • teachers that say they will be your "friend",
  • waking up at 7am to realise it's the weekend,
  • scratchcards in magazines that you always win on and then cost ONLY £1.50 per minute to receive your prize,
  • not being printed on Mega-zine...

Yellow Jello

What's that last one about, eh?

YER ALWAYS ON HERE, SARKY GIT

 

POST IMAGINITIVE TITLE HERE

I have been reading 'Zine for a long time and have come up with a spankingly good idea of how to make these hallowed pages even more fun.

A best names competition!

'Ziners write in and tell everyone their favourite 'Zine name (you cannot vote for yourself!) and the 'Ziner who gets the most votes gets to meet WLW.

The Ziner At The End Of The Universe

Oh, do they now! How much we talking?

A BURGER? I NEED AN EXPENSE ACCOUNT

 

WHY I LIKE WRITING LISTS

  1. I can practise my counting.
  2. And my speling two.
  3. The way I defiantly "use" punctuation and grammar!
  4. It's a great way to fill a page without saying anything interesting.
  5. I really like Heartbreak High.

Parsley Possum

Heartbreak High — yessss!

QUALITY PROG

 

THE HOLY BIBLE

I recently got The Holy Bible by the Manics (for only £6.99!). As well as controversially LIKING their music, I now understand such names as Self Obsession Honey and A Boy Called Rita.

Being the proud owner of Generation Terrorists, one could call me a Manics fan. However, to get my backside BACK on the fence, I don't like what they've become, the political pretentiousness.

And it's safe to say I'm not attracted to James Dean Bradfield.

Onyx

Good heavens, it's been a while since

WE DISSED MSP, HASN'T IT?

 

'ZINERS

You know, I didn't expect to see any goths in Italy, but come the last day, I saw two. In Pompeii. At 40 degrees centigrade!

Well, one was just some girl with paper clips around her neck, she might just have been a weirdo — the other must have been passing out from her black get-up. Neither was Italian.

Don Whence Pitchfork

Sounds like a gag, doesn't it?

"THESE TWO GOTHS IN POMPEII..."

 

REASONS WHY GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN GIRLS:

  1. It's not illegal to buy a guitar.
  2. You can borrow someone else's guitar.
  3. It's easy to pick up a guitar.
  4. You can have more than one guitar at a time.
  5. They never complain about the noise.

I thank you (and say hi to His Evilness for me!)

The Dark Blue Penguin Of Despair

You never have to buy a guitar dinner

OR PRETEND TO LIKE HEARTBEAT

 

KIDS TV

Away with your feeble suggestions! Now two shows that really ruled: Potsworth and Co — anyone remember? C'mon, the dinosaur came to life, it was cute! And Denver, the Last Dinosaur.

Altogether now: "Denver, the last dinosaur, he's my friend and a whole lot more..."

Come to think of it, I had an unhealthy dinosaur obsession as a child. Even my teacher looked like one.

Broccoli The Evil One

And where were they in that Top 100 eh?

AND SECRET SQUIRREL? A SHAM!