Mega-Zine
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August 30, 2001

SECLUDED RAINBOW So, Pluggy finds Buffy boring but is quite happy to read his Asda Catalogue. Hmmm... interesting! It is a darn good read though.

BOB BOB THE BOB Blackburn Rovers for the league! And what league would that be exactly? Not the Premiership, surely?

FRANK THE POTATO Is it true all babies are supposed to be born with blue eyes? No, that's kittens.

 

FUN THINGS TO DO IN A DOCTOR'S SURGERY:

  1. Eat the magazines in the waiting room.
  2. Ask other patients intrusive questions about their problems.
  3. Give yourself a nosebleed.
  4. Try to convince your doctor that you're 73 years old.
  5. Go home and stop wasting the doctor's time.

Parsley Possum

And take your hamster with you and

PRETEND YOU THOUGHT IT WAS THE VETS

 

MY CHRISTMAS LIST

Forty-five bags of Skittles, two worms, a dog that can fly, some yellow hair dye, a burglar alarm (to set off at 2am to annoy the neighbours), a Fred Durst punchbag, a year's supply of Lemon Fanta, a Top Of The Pops album (to scratch for my pleasure) and a PlayStation 2, complete with 93 games.

Please, please, please deliver this stuff, Mr Father Christmas. I have been a very good girl.

Yellow Jello

Mmmmmmmmmm... lemon Fanta... sorry,

LOST MYSELF FOR A MOMENT THERE

 

SO FUNNY

There's a biology book at my (very sad) school. Its author is Michael Slaughter. It's title is Living Things.

Here's the hilarious bit — on the spine of the book, it says Slaughter Living Things.

Sometimes I really find myself on the floor laughing. Why aren't you? Eh?

The One With Little Significance

I am, I am! Slaughter Living Things...

I GET IT, HONEST!

 

MY FIVE FACTS OF LIFE:

  1. Everything sounds better with a wah-wah pedal.
  2. Silent people change the world, loud ones just take the credit.
  3. Monkeys are funny.
  4. You guys are great.
  5. I love Incubus.

Keep it surreal!

From "The Hilikus"

Monkeys are funny but there's more

COMEDY VALUE IN PENGUINS, I SAY

 

THE 10 BESTEST THINGS IN THE WORLD:

  1. Megazine
  2. Guns'n'Roses
  3. The internet
  4. Blackadder
  5. My bed
  6. The Final Fantasy series
  7. Stargate
  8. Grapes
  9. Irn Bru
  10. Compiling meaningless lists

The 'Ziner At The End Of The Universe

No mention of lemon Fanta here, sadly.

OR INDEED, CATS. SHAME ON YOU

 

I DON'T WANT TO GOSSIP, BUT...

I was reading the J17 problem pages and found an agony uncle called Nick (the one from Angst!), with a little picture.

I have to say that his real eye looks nothing like the big crying eye in the top right corner of Angst. So who's eye is it?

WLW, is your true identity hidden somewhere in another magazine or do you inhabit 'Zine and 'Zine alone?

The Gingerbread Frog

Well, truth be told, I'm actually the

AGONY AUNT IN PIG-BREEDERS MONTHLY

 

WLW

You mentioned that Lego was a phase in people's lives. Too true!

I remember fondly my Lego days. I had this huge box and I'd spill the entire contents of the box on to the floor. Then I'd build houses and cars and castles and change the clothes and wigs of the Lego people.

Them were the days...

Karma Policewoman

Them were indeed. Happy times.

AND WHO REMEMBERS MECCANO? EH?