The Mega-Zine Museum

August 28, 2001

BOB BOB THE BOB I'm confused, my mum says that I'm pretty but I've never managed to get a boyfriend. Er... yeah, you are confused matey!

PERPLEXED CROW I have chocolate fudge cake in my fridge. But I must not eat it. I am sad. Sad and completely mad.

PARSLEY POSSUM Is it time for the 'Zine Awards 2001 yet? I'll sit between Samuel L Jackson and Germaine Greer, thanks. You'll sit between Plughole and Gutless and like it!

I WONDER...

My friends say that by working in a cosmetic shop I have given in to trendiness, while I just see it as a way to earn some money.

Am I only one step away from pondlife? Oh, I shouldn't think so. Kirsten says it's dangerous...

The One And (thankfully) Only
Schizo Number 3

Ignore Kirsten, you can't take anything

SHE SAYS TOOOO SERIOUSLY

EXCERPTS FROM THE DIARY OF A CAT:

Day 761

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse my vile oppressors, I once again forced myself to vomit on their favourite chair. Must try this on their bed.

Angel Interceptor

As a 'vile oppressor' myself, can I say

VOMITING ON BED IS A NO-NO, K?

AS A NEW 'ZINER, HERE'S MY PROFILE:

The Toasted Toaster From Toastington

Scratch on left side? Model no 1250?

WAIT — DO YOU LIVE IN MY KITCHEN?

HELLOOOOO

Long-time reader, first-time poster. My name is The Bizarre Mailman, yet I am not a mailman.

I think WLW is neither male nor female, but a collection of dirt under the fingernails of Bryan Adams that has somehow gained the power of rational thought.

I hope that you accept me into your exclusive group as I have wise thoughts, also advice for anyone seeking to buy a high-quality violin.

The Bizarre Mailman

A 'collection of dirt' being one of the

MORE BIZARRE IDEAS RE MY GENDER!

I LIKE MY PAPER ROUND PART 2:

There is this lovely old lady and she gives me a Mars bar whenever she sees me and, if my friends are with me, she'll give them one too.

She also gave me a good tip to do with camping and listening to music. If you camp in a big ring and all point your radios towards the middle on the same station, then you can all dance in the middle.

Fun, eh?

Frank The Potato

Aaaah, old people are very wise —

BONKERS, BUT WISE

FISHFINGERS

Those Iceland ads, "Are we doing a deal... or are we doing a deal?"

Well, frankly, NO! It's only flippin' fishfingers, no need to get over-excited! Grrr... and please, can the owner of Bjork take her back for a refund?

Uneducated Shampoo

I soooooooo agree — very annoying...

THE ADS AND BJORK

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