Mega-Zine
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August 27, 2001

PARSLEY POSSUM Yes WLW, there is a fine line between animal cruelty and art, but no, what you're proposing is not on! What did I propose? I can't remember. Did it involve badgers?

THE FORS@KEN ONE Me and my mates sit on a bench outside a cemetery eating chips. Is this normal behaviour, Doctor Nick? I have spoken to the great one and he says, frankly, no!

PINK MAFIA Groovy chick, own teeth, seeks bloke. The path to true love etc.

 

MY FAVOURITE THINGS

  1. Pink Glitter
  2. Cory Taylor
  3. My hair (yup, I'm vain)
  4. Afflecks Palace in Manchester
  5. My bed (zzzzzzzzz)
  6. Chocolate (mmmmmmm)
  7. Urban Hero (the BEST 'Ziner)
  8. Megazine

Vanilla

.., and Saturday mornings —

DEFINITELY TOP OF MY LIST

 

THE 'ZINE BLOCKBUSTER

I'm going to film my own international blockbuster, tentatively titled: Parsley And Norbex Do Wolverhampton.

A gifted, but frustrated young genius and a brain-dead slacker cause chaos by disrupting a sinister conspiracy by Wolverhampton Council to spread a debilitating virus via waffles.

If anyone wants the part of Professor Mulletfrenzy, come to the auditions!

Parsley Possum

Why do the words 'straight to video'

COME TO MIND?

 

COMPUTERS

At the dawn of computers, when they would fill whole rooms, it was well known that to make the computer crash, you would simply ask it the confusing question of 'why?'

Today, after the growth of technology, computers are much more simple and easy to use. Now, the computer can be made to crash by simply asking it to 'save' or 'print'.

She Who Lost The Plot

Mine doesn't really want to know from

THE SWITCHING ON PROCESS ONWARDS

 

'ZINERS

Why is it that when you cry, your nose starts to run as well? Is it so that you forget what you were crying about or is it just to get you into a worse state than before? (yep, I think that's the one).

And why does crying make your eyes go red like you're the devil? It also turns out that your waterproof mascara wasn't as waterproof as you first thought.

Something for me to investigate should I return to college!

Black Widow

I think the runny nose completes the

WHOLE, MESSY, UNATTRACTIVE PICTURE

 

WLW

I thought if I wrote about something interesting, you might print me so... what about long shorts as the ultimate oxymoron? If you want shorts, why do you want long shorts?

Other things that I want to know are:

  1. If your biggest wish came true, what would you wish for next?
  2. If a fly couldn't fly, what would it be called?

Occasional Daily

I'm too tired to come up with answers —

ANYONE?

 

THE TRUTH (Part 4)

There was a TV programme on about the collapse of an ancient civilisation about 1000 years ago. It claimed that a severe drought caused the collapse, but I know different.

The stupid people made a huge ball of cheese on top of a hill. Of course, the cheese then fell down the hill and crushed everyone.

Never make cheese on tops of hills.

Bob Bob The Bob

Where would we all be without you

TO PUT US RIGHT?

 

SAND VS GRASS

This is the debate of the century, but sand has gotta be the winner:

  1. You don't have to mow the sand
  2. You can't make grasscastles
  3. Sand is yellow

Everyone should have sand in their gardens instead of grass!

Candyfloss Monkey

I'm sure Mavis would agree — a lot more

PLACES FOR HER TO... YOU KNOW...