The Mega-Zine Museum
August 22, 2001
QUEEN NEFERTITI I dare any 'Ziner to describe their summer without using the word 'boring'. And 'wet'.
FRANK THE POTATO You can get a joystick to attach to your mobile phone now, so you can get a really high score on Snake. Surprisingly, they named it a Snake Stick. Oh dear. Absolute genius.
BOOTLEG TULIP Comedy is a dead art. Now tragedy, that's funny. Particularly the Steps version — hilarious in the extreme!
'ZINERS
OK, we seem to have 'Ziners from EVERYWHERE in Britain apart from Oxfordshire! How can this be?
I live in Abingdon, a quaint little town (well, not really) and I appear to be the only 'Ziner!
I long to arrange meetings with you guys in my town, but no-one lives here. Please say one of you lives SOMEWHERE near Abingdon!
The DimGirl (from the molehole)
'Fraid not. I have a cousin in Witney —
THAT ANY GOOD?
NO MORE MONKEYING AROUND
You have all been fooled! The great WLW is in fact a group of illiterate monkeys, chained to typewriters and forced by Teletext to type replies to your letters.
And Davord is their keeper. Yes, you heard me.
The Infectious One (with the really really really really really long name).
Who told you? How did you find out?
ARE YOU FROM THE NEWS OF THE WORLD?
MEOW MY PRETTIES
I have decided to wage war on birds because they have knocked the aerial on my roof. Now I only get blurry Welsh Channel 4 TV. This means that 'Zine looks like this...
%$££@¼ig fjksj I love Savage Cabbage &lr...
I hate birds. By the way, whoever said Crunchies were nice, I agree. That Friday feeling always gets me going.
The Cement Gardener
Oh yes, that Friday feeling.
PITY YOU CAN'T BOTTLE IT
LONELY HEARTS COLUMN
I was disgusted to get no replies. Look at what it said:
Lonely 74-year-old woman, grey hair, nits, dandruff, still suffering from acne and boils, uncontrolable BO, bad manners, bad eating habits. Lost one eye (probably under bed). Has own teeth. Seeks man, aged 20+.
And I am still awaiting replies!
The Abnormally Hairy Woman
I find it unbelievable. People today —
FAR, FAR TOO FUSSY
TRANSFORMERS
So, I'm not the only one who still owns copies of the Transformers movies.
I can still remember the theme song that a bunch of sheep sang!
"Ba ba ba ba, Tranformers, robots in the sky
Ba ba ba, Transformers, more than meets the eye..."
I could go on forever!
The Radioactive Peanut
Please don't...
NO, REALLY
CARTOONS
Yeah, I remember Denver the Last Dinosaur. Wasn't that a blue dinosaur that used to jump around playing a purple electric guitar? Strange... but funny!
Another cool cartoon has gotta be Samurai Pizza Cats! The good old days...
Candyfloss Monkey
The Samurai Pizza Cats!
NOW THERE'S A 'TOON
THE PSYCHEDELIC GLOOM
Tautological Oxymoron
Tautology: It is the case that (either A or not A) is true where A is a state of affairs.
Oxymoron: In this context, it is the case that (A and not A) is true.
If Ludwig Wittgenstein taught me anything, it's that tautological oxymorons are one can of worms that should not be opened!
Parsley Possum
OK, so who has my
'RAMBLING TO ENGLISH' DICTIONARY?
