Mega-Zine
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August 17—18, 2001

SIR WHENCE PITCHFORK When it comes to brushing Mavis, do you have... y'know... problems? She loves it. She purrs for England when she's gettin' brushed.

FUZZY THE LI'L ANGEL Is an oxymoron a moron with loads of spots? Not exactly.

POSSESSED HIPPIE WLW — you are the light at the end of my long, dark, dismal, depressive tunnel... thank you. Mate, whassa matter? There's always chocolate, football, cats, Depeche Mode, football, sunshine, football...

 

'ZINERS

It's official (it is). Brackets are addictive (it's true, you know). Once you start using them (like me), you just can't stop (unfortunately). Even if you really, really want to (and I do), it's impossible (and I should know).

So I would like to know if any 'Ziners can suggest a cure (a quick one) to stop bracket use (because it's doing my head in).

Any suggestions would be (greatly) appreciated. Thank you.

The Despotic Banana (hates you all).

I think (but I'm not sure) that there's

A SUPPORT GROUP (POSSIBLY)

 

CRUSTY THE CABBAGE

You have the misfortune of living in 'Boro? My deepest sympathy.

The most interesting thing to do here is get wrecked and go to Blaises on a Thursday night, and even that isn't much fun, especially when the ceiling starts dripping on you.

Donut Bomb

I went to Middlesbrough once...

JUST ONCE, YOU UNDERSTAND

 

A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Tired of having too few hangers? Fed up of having to wear 15 layers of clothing because of the shortage of storage space? Well, fear not!

Floor hanging is a simple and easy alternative, favoured for years by teenagers throughout the globe!

So, what are you waiting for? Go chuck those clothes on the floor!

Cedric Fibonnacci The Pilchard

Floor hanging is indeed the way forward

ALTHOUGH, IF YOU KEEP A CAT...

 

MEGA-ZINE

For your eyes only — a list of great things which are yellow:

  1. Lemons (did you know that only 1 in 30 people enjoy the taste of these?)
  2. The Yellow Pages (we would be lost without them)
  3. My boyfriend's hair (nice to stroke, not suggesting anything)
  4. The Simpsons
  5. Me!

Yellow Jello

And sunshine! Although people's

FASHION SENSE GOES OUT OF THE WINDOW

 

GOOD DAY

I have a Japanese friend, but half of the time I can't make out a single word he's saying. It's almost as if he was speaking a different language or something!

Do I need some new ears? Help!

The Man With The Golden Bun

Only half of the time? Your grasp of

JAPANESE IS BETTER THAN I THOUGHT!

 

TIME DELAY

WLW and Davord — why do my 'Zine letters take three weeks to get on screen? My last 'Zine letter asking questions took three weeks to appear on these great Teletext pages.

Do my letters get stuck in another dimension before arriving at WLW Towers?

Dr Lozbaker

PS: what do you think of Less Than Jake?

This arrived August 1st! Only 17 days!

LESS THAN JAKE? LESS THAN AVERAGE

 

1929

You are mistaken. The programme of which we speak was called Pigeon STREET, else how could the theme tune be: "If you live on Pigeon Street, look at the people you could meet." Lane just would not rhyme.

Didn't you just love their trousers though? They all wore those amazing flares that almost covered their shoes — sheer class.

DeadGirl (the original)

I still wear them —

I'M THE TALK OF FULHAM