The Mega-Zine Museum
July 29, 2001
LEMMING CURD You're nobody 'til you've been ignored by a cat! So true, mine ignores me all the time, unless she's hungry. Odd that.
THE PEDANTIC 1 Have you ever had deja vu? Or have I said that already? Dunno, have you? Dunno, have you?
SILVAN DRACONIS If health food is so good for you, why does a lot of it taste so rank? Could be that I'm just a fussy eater? No, it actually does taste rank.
WHAT DO YOU GET...
What do you get if you cross Ann Widdecombe, a giraffe, 17 pieces of A4 paper, a very hairy monkey and a turnip?
I have no idea either, but I am off to find out.
Universally Challenged
The 5 Popstars rejects —
AM I CLOSE?
BEDTIME CHECKLIST:
Alarm Clock — check
Bedtime Story — check
Reading Lamp — check
Teddy Bear — check
Pillow — check
Duvet Cover — check
Bed — nope (hmmm... where did I put that?)
She Who Lost The Plot
Mug of cocoa —
WHAT ABOUT THE MUG OF COCOA? EH?
I'M A MAN!
So many people assume that I am a woman just because I have the word 'fluffy' in my name! It's an oxymoron... fluffy/evil, geddit?
WLW, you've seen a photo, do I look like a woman? I mean, despite the fact that I am 6'7" and the size of your average family saloon car, I have a girlfriend! Broccoli!
I just want to set the record straight.
Fluffy The Evil One
I have seen the pic of which you speak,
AND YOU AIN'T NO LADY, FOR SURE!
YAY!
I had a Spectrum! Some of those games were highly addictive. The most excellent ones I remember include Nebulus, Manic Miner, Exodus, Ruff and Reddy and Rockfall.
Of course, the games always took hours to load and it was a noisy process. And, after all that, 90% would fail to work. But hey, we just accepted it!
Fond memories.
Miss MacPhisto
Happy days — life didn't seem
HALF AS COMPLICATED, DID IT?
WLW
My driving instructor has had an image change! He used to come in his leather jacket, unshaven and with unkempt hair (hey, he was the cheapest around!). Last week he came with a shirt, no stubble, and a short back and sides!
I was quite impressed! The prices of my driving lessons have gone up though. I suppose the shirt and haircut must have been quite pricey!
The Man With The Golden Bun
He wasn't due in court, was he?
RECKLESS DRIVING?
KIDS TV
Have we mentioned the fabulous Moomins? I loved Little Mi, she was so sweet and innocent, until she opened her big gob, just like me. I admire anyone who is prone to throwing bigger temper tantrums than me. Only she and Brian Molko beat me but that's another story.
Snufking was also a top man. If only men were really like him, I might have got somewhere. All that fresh air and sleeping under the stars.
Black Widow
The Moomins passed me by, I'm afraid —
I'LL CHECK MY CABLE TV GUIDE!
BLAZING MATCHBOX
You're thinking of 5 children and It. That was great! I remember it really well. There was one episode where they asked for wings and flew to the top of the church tower, fell asleep and the sun set so they lost their wings and were stuck up there!
It wasn't a fictional programme though, all that really happened. I know because the furry thing lives in the field behind my house now and grants all my wishes!
No really it does!
Miss World
Now that's not true, is it?
HE DOESN'T LIVE THERE, DOES HE?
