The Mega-Zine Museum
July 18, 2001
UNCONTROLLABLE LAMP-POST OF WISDOM I tried making this morning's tea in a chocolate teapot. My advice? Don't do it. I know, doesn't work, does it?
CHILD OF 'ZINE I was wondering if the number 93 bus goes into Manchester as I have to do some shopping for my mum and I can't be bothered to walk. Bus? Bags of shopping? Get a cab!
YELLOW JELLO Your chances of winning the lottery increase when you buy a ticket. Ah, so that's why I never win.
A WARNING
You've gone to a wedding, you've decided to look smart and wear your best three-piece suit. But accidently, you've put on a three-piece suite. You carry on and hope that no one notices.
All is going well until the disco at the reception. After dancing a while, you get hot, you decide to take off an armchair. You toss it aside, not looking where you were putting it. It lands on the best man. He is badly injured.
Moral? Never wear furniture!
She Who Lost The Plot
A lesson for us all there.
WE THANK YOU, PLOTLESS ONE
HEY, YELLOW JELLO
I think it was you who mentioned nicknames? If not, well, the other person!
Those are pretty interesting nicknames but my friend got nicknamed Crimpo, although I'm not sure if she knew about it (er... Hi Tara, if you're reading!), and someone else got called Spankmaster (no names mentioned... you know who you are "ginger one"!) Hmmm... Lanky Noodle is another.
Dunno if those are any weirder, but they're pretty strange!
Coca Cola Junkie
A friend of mine was called Cheesy —
BEST NOT TO GO THERE, THOUGH
IF BANDS WERE SOAP FAMILIES...
| Slipknot: | The Dingles (Emmerdale) — not the most cultured or refined lot. |
| Oasis: | The Mitchells (EastEnders) — nobody has ever accused them of being the sharpest tools in the box. |
| Westlife: | The Scullys (Neighbours) — wholesome, but woefully boring. |
Parsley "Gnome Enthusiast" Possum
Hear'Say: The Corkhills (Brookside) —
SOOOOOO OVER AND DULL
'ZINE BIG BROTHER
| Fluffy and Broccoli: | The love interest |
| WLW: | The person that holds the group together. |
| Me: | The annoying one that somehow manages to win. |
| Protective Sheet: | The person that everyone manages to forget |
| Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex: | The outgoing, funny man. |
| Parsley Possum: | Best not said really, isn't it? |
Doped up and Paranoid
Booooo, I wanted to be the really
IRRITATING GIT WITH THE ACCENT!
THE HOOPIEST FROOD
Finally! Someone else who shares my passion for paperclips! They are the greatest invention in the world ever!
I'm so obsessed that, not only do I use them to decorate all my stuff, but a friend bought me a box of them for Christmas! And they were all different colours!
The smallest paperclip in my collection is 8mm long. Can anyone beat that?
Holy Purple Dragon (paperclip fan)
I have one with a metal bird thing
ON IT — AND THE WING MOVES!
'ZINE
On the subject of favourite, forgotten childhood cartoons, does anyone remember a cartoon called Willow The Wisp? (I don't believe anyone has mentioned it yet).
It was one of the best cartoons — the evil television, the overweight fairy and, of course, the talking wisp of smoke. All set in sinister woods.
If no one has heard of it, I bet now you all wish you had!
Misfit
Evil Edna! The television...
EVIL EDNA!
MEGAZINE
Do you think if I keep e-mailing, eventually the only e-mails you'd have would be from me? Then you'd have to print one!
PLEASE! I HAVE NO LIFE!
Plus, I only get to use the internet every Tuesday, and do you know how much energy I'd have to use to get up and buy a stamp?
Princess Siantia
from the Land Of Theodora
Heaven forbid you should buy a stamp —
HERE, HAVE THIS E-MAIL ON ME!
