The Mega-Zine Museum
June 29—30, 2001
SILVAN DRACONIS I once saw a seagull fly into a washing-line. Mind you, it did have only one eye. The seagull that is, not the washing-line. That would be just weird. You ain't kidding.
TIGER IN BLUEPRINT WLW — is this small enough to fit on the "ickle bits" page? I've never appeared there yet. It is!
SAPPHISTICATION Thanks, Egg Meister — at last, I'm a 'Ziner that other 'Ziners talk about! Gay Pride! Indeed — and have a great day out tomorrow!
CHOCOLATES
Life can't be like a box of chocolates, because nowhere is there a sheet giving you a rundown of the ingredients of everything, and which Austrian village it was made in!
Unless it fell out.
Sir Whence Pitchfork
I agree. Though I tell you this —
I'VE MET A LOT OF NUTS IN MY TIME!
IF 'ZINERS WERE... Celebrity chefs!
| Le Enfant Terrible: | Jamie Oliver (obviously!) |
| Broccoli: | Nigella Lawson (gorgeous!) |
| Savage Cabbage: | Anthony Worral-Thompson (I like him) |
| Parsley Possum: | Gordon Ramsey (everyone's scared of him!) |
| Gutless Wonder: | Delia Smith (old and haggard looking!) |
| Mystical Doorknob: | Ainsley Harriott (the only other chef I can think of!) |
Fluffy The Evil One
Being a Richard and Judy fan (saddo?) —
WHAT ABOUT PHIL VICKERY?
BEST B*CKCH*T LETTERS EVER
(In no particular order)
- B*witched are the best British band since The Beatles.
- All Goths smell, worship Satan and want to look like Marilyn Manson.
- I'm really worried, my goldfish is swimming upside down. What shall I do?
- I fancy this girl at school, but she is not popular. Do I ask her out anyway?
Eowyn
Ah yes, B*witched — what happened to...
ACTUALLY, FORGET IT, DON'T CARE
I AM IN LOVE
I am officially in love with a lovely man called Gordon!
Gordon is a green goldfish with big glasses and Afro hair. I love him to bits! He is my number 1!
Who needs Parsley when you have Gordon?
Yellow Jello
Big glasses? Afro hair?
I DON'T THINK GORDON'S VERY WELL
WHERE JAPAN WENT WRONG
If all the world was paper
and all the sea was ink
and all the trees
were bread and cheese
what would we have to drink?
I'm sure that the paper ink thing is a metaphor, but the cheese tree sounds cool.
Lady of the Dead
Cheese trees, chocolate grass...
IT'S A WORLD I'D LIVE IN FOR SURE!
'ZINERS,
Things you can do in a lift to prevent awkward silences...
- Hit yourself on the head and say: "shut up, shut up all of you"
- Grin and say: "I have new socks on"
- Bring a camera and take photos of everyone in the lift
Uneducated Shampoo
Draw a chalk circle, wait for someone
TO STAND IN IT, THEN SHOUT 'NOOOOO'
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
I need a 'Zine girlfriend. There must be some gorgeous girl out there just waiting for a guy like me to carry her off into the sunset.
I'm sexy, intelligent, funny and one of the most popular 'Ziners! What more does a woman want?
Replies as soon as possible please.
The Man With The Golden Bun
And you look like? I mean, no point in
BEING SEXY AND LOOKING LIKE DAVORD
