The Mega-Zine Museum

May 9, 2001

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX Davord was just on the toilet and it exploded — what should I do? Er... stand back!

ALF, THE UNSTOPPABLE SPROUT It takes 40 dumb animals to make a fur coat, but just one to wear it. How many possums does it take, I wonder?

SMASHED STRAWBERRY, HECTOR'S HOUSE Ratchild — at least you have friends. I only have one independent friend left. My other two pen friends stopped writing to me. Why? What did you say???

'ZINE ANTHEM

It simply can't be some no-brainer, yankee-punker choon or ludicrous nu-metal. Or James. No.

I have a couple of suggestions:

Not one mention of the word "freak".

Marma Lady

I'm still going with a 'Zine album —

KEEPS EVERYONE HAPPY!

WLW AND DEAREST 'ZINE BEINGS

I'd like to tell you all about my sad loss. A dear friend of mine, let's call him John (no, Dave — I like Dave better), recently popped his clogs. It was all very sudden. I mourned for days.

Not only has Dave ruined a wonderful pair of authentic wooden shoes, but he will almost certainly have invalidated the warranty on his microwave.

Little Kismet

Oooh, you — there I was,

WITH MY SYMPATHY HEAD ON!

PARSLEY POSSUM WORLD!

WLW — do you ever get tired of typing the words "Parsley" and "Possum"?

Now, don't get me wrong, I like the guy. He's funny and he hates Norbex (I have the misfortune of personally knowing the idiot), but he is either on or mentioned every day when the space could be taken up by Miss World, Black Widow or Broccoli.

Fluffy The Evil One

But people keep writing in about him —

THIS BEING A PRIME EXAMPLE!

JDB vs ANN WIDDECOMBE

James Dean Bradfield hates the English. You might think this is because he is a Welsh nationalist, but you'd be wrong.

James Dean Bradfield hates the English because Ann Widdecombe is English. And JDB hates Ann Widdecombe because she recently defeated him in a pie-eating contest!

The Psychedelic Gloom

Aaah, lovely Annie — what will she do

WHEN HER LOOKS GO?

'ZINERS

You may think folk music is just for weird old men in tight white trousers, but there are some rather nice-looking lads as well!

Maybe I'll hold a 'Zine ceilidh to enlighten you all.

No? Thought not.

Derangee Folkie

But isn't folk music just weird old men

IN TIGHT WHITE TROUSERS?

RATCHILD

You have good taste. Monty Python is fantastically funny. Last month I spent three hours trying to explain the humour of it to my mum.

She didn't see the funny side. She likes reggae.

Pale Snail

Has she never seen Bob Marley in

DA HOLY GRAIL?

A FEW POINTS FOR Y'ALL...

1. After hearing countless times how great it is to have a letter printed on 'Zine, I'm thinking it might be my turn?
2. Pink Mafia — if you still want a boyfriend, I'm 17, single and sexy!
3. Squirrels are better than goats because they have long furry tails, OK?

Mashedpotato

You know what? I've seen Pink Mafia...

I'M SAYING NUFFINK!

Back

Next