The Mega-Zine Museum
May 8, 2001
THE ONE WITH LITTLE SIGNIFICANCE Why are boxing rings square? 'Cos if they were round, you'd have trouble finding yer corner, wouldn't you?
LADY OF THE DEAD Has anyone else ever wondered why Davord has a third nostril? He does? Blimey, he does!
RATCHILD I know I've said it before, but it's getting out of hand — Mr Bamboozle just threatened me! I find this so hard to believe. He's just a little old man called Wilf. Harmless.
PAPER,
Did you know that paper is actually quite tasty? Bus tickets are nice and plain, but have a certain tang and banknotes are very sweet (though an expensive habit).
If you didn't know what to do with all those 'Zine letters, well — here's your answer!
Sir Whence Pitchfork
It's a thought, but I've decided to
WALLPAPER MY SPARE ROOM WITH THEM
FISHLIPS,
Oooh, fishlips you're so fine,
You're so fine you blow my mind,
Hey fishlips...
Hey fishlips
Oooh, buttock you're so fine etc etc etc
Kiss The Goose
It was Mickey, surely?
WASN'T IT? ANYONE? DAVORD?
WOW!
After weeks of research, I have found a connection between two of the most annoying (if not, most catchy) pop songs of recent months:
Who Let The Dogs Out? It Wasn't Me.
I thank you!
The Man With The Golden Bun
Good work, Bun — now figure out
THE MEANING OF LIFE, WOULD YOU?
SUPERMAN,
Lois Lane has got to be the dumbest reporter ever! I mean, one pair of glasses and a bit of hair gel and she's fooled!
Or maybe it's because her eyes are elsewhere when Clark has his Lycra on!
The Vegetarian Vampire
I'm sure I don't know
WHAT YOU MEAN!
THE RAGAMUFFIN'S BREAKFAST ROUTINE
I get out a mug, plate, teaspoon, knife, coffee, milk, toast, butter and marmalade which I put in their places, ready for "operation breakfast".
Flicking the kettle on, I push the toast down which gives me time to put coffee and milk in my mug before the kettle boils. By then, the toast has popped up which I proceed to butter.
Voila, my daily morning routine.
Bolivian Ragamuffin
Well I, for one, am a better person
FOR KNOWING THIS (?)
IF 'ZINERS WERE NURSING-HOME RESIDENTS:
| Parsley Possum: | The grumpy geezer who whines about everything. |
| Norbex: | Steals the crossword puzzles. |
| She Who Lost The Plot: | The nice old lady who tells great stories, but you always wonder whether she's all there. |
| Plughole Fantasy: | Disappeared in the night. |
| WLW: | The cheerful nurse who dishes out lovely cups of tea. |
| Davord: | The evil matron! |
The Fiend Next Door
I think this is my favourite one yet —
VERY FUNNY, VERY INVENTIVE!
FILMS
I've seen Labyrinth and Little Shop Of Horrors. Anyway, now it's my turn.
Has anyone else seen A Night At The Roxbury? It's about these two brothers and their struggle to get into a really exclusive club called the Roxbury.
I'm convinced that me and my best friend are the only people who have ever seen it, even though it is one of the funniest films.
Stripeycat
Have we seen it? NOOooooo, YEEEsssss.
That was me and Davord, mate —
THOSE ROXBURY DOORMEN... EVIL!
