The Mega-Zine Museum
April 27—28, 2001
SIR WHENCE PITCHFORK Where has Gutless been lately? They say Brixton is a very rough area, and I'm beginning to get worried... You're right to be.
BOB BOB THE BOB The things that go on in my head scare me. Kumquat for sale! Only a penny! You know what? You're actually starting to scare me, too.
FLicKeR Isn't that Whiskas advert with the cat and boy growing up just the cutest? Isn't it just! My Mavis thinks the lad is just toooo cute.
AS PROMISED
Boy racers pt.2: Ian
| 8.00am | Ian gets out of bed and puts on his trendy Adidas garments. |
| 8.30am | Putting on his Nike shoes, baseball cap and stylish sunglasses, he jumps into his pride and joy. |
| 8.43am | With the windows down and huge speakers booming out Dance Nation 2001, he screeches into the school car park. |
| 8.45am | Ian strolls into the Sixth Form Common Room ready for a good day's learning and education. |
Bolivian Ragamuffin
I know this guy, I'm sure!
THINK HE DELIVERS OUR LOCAL PAPER!
MISS WORLD AND TWISTED TART
What fool could possibly find Fred Durst attractive? I guess you could make that mistake if you were looking at him through half-closed eyes, half a mile away, on a moonless foggy night, with your back to him... but those are the only acceptable circumstances.
Unless, of course, you like knuckle-dragging apemen, then it's OK.
Fantastic plastic
So, not a fan then? Don't blame you —
I THINK HE'S THE MISSING LINK
AM I OVERREACTING?
My friends don't know that I write to 'Zine but I know they read it and, even though every letter I have written has had a little clue about who I am, none of them has noticed!
I am very upset about this but I can't tell them why, so now they think I have some kind of mood swing problem because I go into little sulks whenever I think about the cheek of it. Don't they know me at all?
Ratchild
Ask them what they think of Ratchild —
IF THEY SAY 'SADDO'... KEEP QUIET!
PIE
Pie for dinner
Pie for tea
Pie to fill me up with glee
No pie for you
But pie for me
This pie is mine I do decree
She Who Lost The Plot
I've heard this before somewhere —
IS IT A MANICS B-SIDE?
MY FIRST PIERCING
I now have a barbell of silver through my right eyebrow, and ten quid when I get back to school.
Of course, I went to a registered piercist — didn't stop him from being a very large scary bloke with hair, a completly studded face and holes in his ears you could fit a fist through.
Actually, he was a very friendly, honest fellow called Tony, which made me feel guilty for lying about my age.
Odd Foz
You lied? You lied to Honest Tony?
MEN HAVE DIED FOR LESS!
MODERN UPDATES OF CHARACTER DEFINITION
Pt. 1 Goth:
A person (usually early-mid teens) who has recently dyed hair and painted nails black, also wears black clothing.
Favourite bands likely to include Marilyn Manson and Slipknot.
Acts pretentious and above the rest of society, as they are 'freaks'.
Will have no knowledge of gothic culture or bands, such as Bauhaus, Cure or Depeche Mode.
Next: Punks.
Misfit
Thank you for that...
I FEEL THOROUGHLY ENLIGHTENED
WHAT REALLY 'ROCKS'?
It has come to my attention recently that the verb 'to rock' has become overused in the extreme. Why, in the past week, I have seen it used to describe both Geri Halliwell AND Westlife (excuse me while I die laughing).
Come on people, get it sorted — we want this verb used in the proper context, and punishment for incorrect use.
Chris the Cocksure Dingo
What about the lovely Lolly?
NOW SHE ROCKED!
