The Mega-Zine Museum
January 14, 2001
SHE WHO LOST THE PLOT He is older than my Dad, yet I am strangely attracted to Michael Palin. I really should stop taking those vitamin supplements. And get out of the house more often.
SAPPHISTICATION WLW is Dubya Hell Dubya, hence my long absence from the 'Zine as I preferred Gore. Cheers!
SPARKLING BLACK ANGEL WINGS Is it true that 'ickle purdy cats like pilchards in tomato sauce? Not mine, that's for sure. She's a 'brine' kinda puddy.
'ZINERS
I watched 'Popstars' the other day and it was hilarious! No-one could sing, they all sounded really pathetic!
This one bloke was especially funny, singing 'Angels'. He looked really... erm... stoned and was waving his coat like, I dunno, wings or something. He may have been trying to look like an angel. I really don't know...
The DimGirl (from the molehole)
Try not to think about it —
IT'S THE STUFF OF NIGHTMARES
DEAR WLW
I have written about five times and will not stop, so you might as well print one.
I'm sure you're a very busy genderless entity, but it would be quite rude not to let me get my name out as you seem to dedicate at least one page daily to Parsley Possum and nobody even likes him.
The Varying Oxymoron
'Genderless entity'? Blimey, I've been
CALLED SOME THINGS IN MY TIME
WLW
I see that rotter John Earls rated Steps' 'Stomp' highly in his singles of 2000 on Club 140, while excluding Geri Halliwell's 'Bag It Up'. Both are exuberant, late '70s-style disco.
However, Geri's single was released first, was co-written by Geri (unlike Steps), had a message (unlike Steps) and sold more than Steps.
Maybe Earls can be excused. Obviously Geri's single eluded the old bloke's memory.
Peter Pinsent
The more I read this letter, the more
I'M CONVINCED IT'S A WIND UP!
THE BOY NEXT DOOR
I am sure that the family from next door are from outer space. They seem to be trying to take over my mind.
Take yesterday, for instance. The son of the 'family' started shining a red light in my eyes and made funny humming-type noises at me.
Is this a form of brainwashing? Does anyone else have the same problem?
The Cheshire Cat
Where on earth do you live?
I'D MOVE... AND QUICK!
WLW
Thanks ever so much for responding to my letter. I only wanted a minute of fame but, now that I got it, I want another one.
I've been thinking about glasses. When people say that people who wear glasses are blind, I'm sure there's no logic in that because aren't glasses supposed to make your sight better?
Am I just being ignorant?
Uncontrollable Lampost Of Wisdom
Look, you've had yer minute of fame,
DON'T START TRYING TO CONFUSE ME
DEAR WLW
I saw something by Voice Of The Voiceless about winning a stupid contest. Well, thanks to them, I have lost many hours of sleep but I have finally come up with an answer...
The stupidest would have to be the judges!
I hope this has answered your question. Now, if you will excuse me, I'm off to waste another 82 hours of my life, thinking about how to digest yourself.
The Guy Who Makes Sense Of Nonsense
If you find out how it's done,
COULD YOU LET WESTLIFE KNOW?
HI
Did you know that over 10,000 birds die each year by crashing into windows?
So, I think we should remove all glass to solve this problem. It's such a good idea that I'm surprised nobody has come up with it before.
Uneducated Shampoo
Yeah, I think I see a flaw here...
IT'LL BE BLOOMIN' FREEZING!
