The Mega-Zine Museum
December 24, 2000
THE DIMGIRL (FROM THE MOLEHOLE) At our school we don't have trendies. We have "The Crew"! *snigger*. Crew? Oh dear.
REDPIXIE I've been reading 'Zine for six years and wasted 300 stamps on unprinted letters. D'ya think I need to get out more? Let's see... yes, without a doubt. Get out, get out now!
LADY OF THE DEAD Rain, rain, rain, rain. Oh wait... no, my mistake: Rain, rain, rain, rain. Miserable innit? Get me to the Maldives!
ANARCHY'S FUNDAMENTAL FLAW
Peaceful coexistence without rules can never be possible. This is because harmony is dependent on structure which is dependent on laws or constraints.
One of the conditions of peaceful coexistence is that people act altruistically, not selfishly, so conflicts don't arise. This is a law in itself.
Creature Of The Wheel
Yeah, whatever
(WHO LET PROFESSOR CREATURE IN?)
ON THE RECOGNITION OF DECENT DRUMMERS COMMENT:
Let us recognise the likes of Dave Grohl, Taylor Hawkins, and my mate Greg who, at sometime or other, have all been splendid drummers.
And on the discussion on the bands who release tracks 2 and 8 from their album — Foo Fighters: There Is Nothing Left To Lose — they released Breakout and Next Year, well, when those guys at Our Price near me decide to stock it.
Black Widow
What about backing singers?
BIG SHOUT TO THEM TOO, I SAY
JUST ANOTHER BORING MOAN ABOUT TRENDIES:
How come around here they all have cockney accents, even though we live nowhere near London?
And for the last time we are NOT goths... and if we were we would be "goths" not "gofficks". Some people can be so stupid.
Miss World
It's like Man United fans, love...
EVERYWHERE, EXCEPT MANCHESTER!
LAWS AND NECESSITY...
A 'Ziner recently commented that laws weren't necessary for we, the people of the world, could survive just mighty fine without them; but as the 'Zine lawyer, I am forced to negate this 'Ziner's argument.
However, they cannot be allowed to be morally based, which is why I want pilchards legalised.
A Law Student (inter alia)
Oh dear, a comedy lawyer —
THAT'S ALL WE NEED RIGHT NOW
HOW TO HAVE A (REASONABLY) SANE CHRISTMAS
- Go to a reputable DIY store and buy a hammer. A multi-purpose mallet will also suffice.
- Find all tape recorders/CD players playing Christmas songs too early.
- Take out Christmas tape/CD and proceed to smash with hammer.
- Smash tape recorder/CD player with mallet.
You will now have a peaceful Christmas.
She Who Lost The Plot
Despite the brilliance of this idea,
WE DON'T ENDORSE THIS, OK!
DEAR ALL,
I consider you all my friends and so I expect a Christmas present from each and every one of you.
Living in Scotland, I only get one episode of The Simpsons a week. This is clearly not enough and I am suffering withdrawal.
Give me videos. Have I told you lately that I love you?
Bob Bob The Bob
You'll have socks and pants
AND BE GRATEFUL, Y'HEAR?
DEAREST BELOVED...
Whilst listening to my favourite radio station I noticed the DJ was giving a number you could ring for requests. The next few words made me change the channel quickly and throw my stereo out the window at a passing bus.
He said, and I quote "Here's our number to send all your TEXT MESSAGES"!
I was disgusted and I hope that DJ gets his head messed up by all that radiation and ends up working in Burger King.
The Reincarnated Squirrel Eater
