The Mega-Zine Museum
December 3, 2000
NEGATIVE CREEP I am an architect, they call me a butcher. Why? Who do? Are you designing chops or something?
ANGEL OF HARLEM You must find the jade monkey before the next full moon. I'm on to it! Er...what exactly do I do with it when I find it?
LADY OF THE DEAD I will not eat green eggs and ham because I will only get food poisoning. Dead I am. Dinner round your place sounds decidedly dodgy!
SORRY 'ZINERS,
I've temporarily spoiled my cool, calm and mysterious persona on these pages as, the other day, I had to dress up as Denise Robertson!!!
Yes, that scary old agony aunt from This Morning! The shame!
Still, I'm not a B*ckch*tter so you can't really condemn me.
Mystical Starfish
OK, first thing's first...
DENISE ROBERTSON - WHY?
HELLO FELLOW 'ZINERS,
It is I, Miss Katty Ears again. I would like to thank Offspring-Rules for his comment the other day supporting my "WLW Is Female" campaign.
Now, another interesting little gem to think about — how come WLW knows so much about boybands like Westlife and a1?
Hmmmmmmmmmmm, interesting evidence.
Yours campaigningly,
Miss Katty Ears
'a' who? 'West' what?
SORRY, LOST ME
"OH I WISH IT COULD BE CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY..."
Isn't that the most diabolically vomit-inducing Christmas song you've ever heard? It's the most irritating thing you can hear when you're trying to find that perfect gift for someone.
Why do shops continue to inflict this evil upon us, playing it non-stop, driving everyone demented? And who'd seriously want it to be Christmas every day?
Karma Policewoman
Me! Think of all the pressies...
AND NO SCHOOL OR WORK — FANTASTIC!
DEAR WLW,
Look, I don't know if I'm sending all of these (allegedly) hilarious messages to the right e-mail address.
I'm scared I'm sending stuff about Arsenal and Trendies to some inflatable Iranian businessman, or whatever.
Go on, be a lovely little WLW person and reply to this, please? I'll send a Mars bar!
With love (whether you are male or female).
Manic-stricken
I am, in fact, an inflatable Iranian -
COINCIDENCE OR WHAT?
AN ODE TO WATER,
Oh water,
You're quite good.
But you're not as good as cakes.
Don't get me wrong,
I do like water,
But if I had to chose between thee,
And a punnet o' cakes,
Well...
Let's just say...
BEARD!
Onyx
Think I still prefer Shakespeare but
IT'S A CLOSE RUN THING — HONEST!
AND THEY CALL IT MUPPET LOVE....
Oh woe is me! I am so rejected and unwanted by the one I love. All my affectionate letters returned with the statement: "ELMO NO CARE".
No longer am I allowed to grace the street entitled Sesame, for fear of being arrested... again! Oh well.
This e-mail was brought to you by the letters F and M and the number 6.
Furry Muppet
Always fascinated by the Count myself
UNREQUITED LOVE EH? IT'S HARD
