The Mega-Zine Museum

November 9, 2000

THE ELIXIR VIXEN If a tree falls in a forest and no-one is around to hear it, will anybody care? I suspect the Lonely Pine In The Forest Of Misery will care.

BLACKSHEEP So tell me, WLW, what exactly is this popularity lark all about? Dunno, no-one likes me, not even me mum (cue quivering bottom lip).

FOUR INCH HORSEMAN One day, my army of chocolate pygmies shall rule the world. But I'm not sure which one. If it's this one, then they ain't safe round these parts, being made of choccie.

WLW AND FELLOW 'ZINERS

After spending nearly a week off school, I thought a miracle might have happened. Something marvellous involving trendies and a nuclear bomb.

Returning to the hell hole on Friday, I was disillusioned to find this hadn't happened. Why? I sprinkled some wish dust given to me by this fairy chick I saw hanging around one evening.

She promised me. My advice? Never trust a fairy.

BabE wiTH pOiSonEd LiPS

Never trust someone who

BELIEVES IN FAIRIES, I RECKON

PARSLEY ON THE MEANING OF LIFE

There is no meaning of life. Life is utterly and profoundly meaningless. If you look deeply enough into anything, all you will find is the superficial and the incidental.

Sure, things happen for a reason but nothing happens for a purpose, and all life is the result of a chance meeting between four proteins millions of years ago.

Parsley Possum

Hmmmmm... OK... so... what do we think

OF THE NEW WESTLIFE SINGLE?

WLW

This is my first e-mail to Mega-zine. I thought I'd have a go at running for office:

Insomniac

Oooh, never meant to cause you trouble,

HOWEVER — WE LIKE KELLY JONES, K?

HMMM... A STRANGE STORY

Today I was talking to a girl. She picked up my homework journal, enthralled by curious arty designs on it. She opened it, to be greeted by the faces of Radiohead.

"Who are they?" she said. I said "Radiohead" in a you're-a-bit-dim tone.
Then, "Who the hell is that?" she says. I retort: "Badly Drawn Boy."
Her face was blank. "What? You've never heard of Badly Drawn Boy?" I say.

Honestly, what is the world coming to?

Karma Policewoman

I know, I mean, who can't name

ONE OF HIS SONGS? EH?

WLW

I don't wish to cause offence, but I couldn't help but notice that your policies are decidedly leftie in contrast to most 'Ziners. They say, "String up trendies," and you say, "Let them eat chocolate." Am I right?

Wahey! I think I'll join the secret service and root out evil commies like yourself before retiring to a life of wealth and Arsenal season tickets.

The Pickled Penguin

Leftie? Moi? Arsenal season tickets are

THE HEIGHT OF DECADENCE, YOU KNOW!

WHAT NAMES MEAN:

The above list was edited in order to avoid ruining the minds of today's youth (any more).

Secluded Rainbow

Lolly: Sad, middle-aged freak of nature

CHRIS TARRANT: ANNOYING EGOMANIAC

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