The Mega-Zine Museum
October 4, 2000
FOUR INCH HORSEMAN Why do you never print my letters, even though I promised you half of my chocolate empire? You have a chocolate empire? How on earth did I miss that? Sorry!
THE SUICIDAL CAT If you notice this notice, then you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing! Huh?
LADY OF THE DEAD I was Davord's date for the Evil Doers Of The Millennium convention. He ate the guest speaker. Well, isn't that him all over?
ALL 'ZINERS GREAT AND SMALL
I love: Placebo, Big Brother's Andy, cows, WLW, Pilchard (the band), pilchards (the fish), Pilchard (the cat), dogs, toast and coffee.
I hate: Slipknot, Big Brother's Mel, cats (sorry WLW!), Scooch (who recently lost their record label — yay!), trendies and Plughole Fantasy (one and the same) and Backchat (a strange breed of French cat with it's head on the wrong way round).
The Chemical Sister
A strange breed of... oh... Back Chat!
I GET IT! VERY GOOD, DEAR!
'ZINERS
Sometimes, when you are happy, you get a feeling of glee. This should not be mistaken, however, for a feeling of ghee, an Indian butter-like substance.
If you do get a feeling of ghee, take your hand out of the tub in the fridge and watch what you're doing next time.
If the feeling of ghee makes you happy like the feeling of glee, then I'm afraid it's time to start counselling.
She Who Lost The Plot
And on the subject of counselling,
YOUR APPOINTMENT COME THROUGH YET?
HOWDY-HO EVIL CHEESEMEISTER
An Alanis Morissette fan. How quaint. I really thought that all these people had been sucked into a hole or something. No-one recognises her genius now.
Wait until she releases a new album. She'll kick S Club 7 into oblivion.
Tell me you love Foo Fighters and I'll marry you. Tell me you love Dane Grohl and I won't.
Black Widow
That 'Uninvited' song, was that a hit?
THAT WAS EXCELLENT — SUBLIME STUFF
WLW
R u a m/f?
Where's Plughole?
What's Backchat?
R u actually the sinister Davord, or does he work in ur office or something?
Do u only pick letters to publish where u can think of something funny and witty to put at the end?
Why am I so unpopular?
Purple Pantha
Why are you so unpopular?
MAYBE YOU ASK TOO MANY QUESTIONS
'ZINERS
Every living creature lives to breed — it's in the genes. This is the same for humans. Unless we create our own goals, we only live to reproduce.
This explains trendies. By being the same as everyone else, the chances of finding a mate are increased, thus satisfying their deepest urges.
Goths, freaks and even MSP fans are no better. You allow yourselves to follow a trend. Shame on you!
The Jolly Pessimist
The evolutionary scale fails to mention
MANICS FANS. STRANGE THAT
YOU KNOW...
Red crayons taste a lot better than blue crayons. Yet, yellow crayons taste nicer than red crayons. That would mean that blue crayons tasted the worst. But, if we're being honest here, they don't. Green crayons taste toxic, which means they're the worst.
So yellow crayons are the best, which also isn't true because the purple crayon is.
Toy Machine
Yes, several issues to discuss here
DON'T EAT CRAYONS BEING ONE!
