The Mega-Zine Museum
April 19, 2000
TRENDY CHICK 007 Since nobody is taking any interest in me, if anyone wants me, I'll be in my room. OK.
BURGER QUEEN LIBERTINE Neurosis is the way of avoiding non-being by being. And pretending you're sick is the way of avoiding work... er, not that I have!
MISS TRISTESSE I'm glad to see the 'Zine is no fashion show... otherwise I'd be in the sales section. Last year's line gone stale. Not at all! (Thank you for the mini jammy dodgers!)
PERCEPTION,
I am many things to many different people.
To myself, I'm a misunderstood, free-thinking rebel, cruelly shunned by sheep known as "trendies".
To you, I'm another 'Ziner.
To old people, I'm pretty or angelic.
To my parents, I'm an annoyance.
To friends, I'm a comedian.
To the people in my dreams, I'm rich, famous and married to Callum Keith Rennie.
To the people in my nightmares I'm made of bread and sparrows keep eating me.
Mystical Starfish
You are many things indeed...
INCLUDING WONDERFULLY BIZARRE
NOT GUILTY,
I tried to tell them that drinking bleach wouldn't quench their thirst, but they insisted. "Give us the bleach," they said. What could I do?
I was powerless to save Steps from burning their internal organs. I only opened the cap and poured it.
I am innocent I tell you!
Mary Mary Quite Contrary
You know, I had a dream last night
ABOUT FAYE STEPS, ME AND KETCHUP!?
GREETINGS WLW,
Remember me? Yes, that's right. I'm one of those 'Ziners whose letters you decided to stop showing! Well, I decided to write again to clear up a small misunderstanding.
Neither I, nor any of my inky friends, was responsible for being on The Swan Who Could Swim's face. We are not the spots in question.
Thank you for your time. Love,
The Ink Spot
PS: Did you miss me?
I sure did! And it was nothing personal
BUT WE ONLY GET 5 PAGES YOU KNOW!
DEAR 'ZINERS,
Most gorgeous men on the planet:
- Michael Owen — wait, don't make any rash judgements, I am no trendy. He is just lovely. Look at those cheekbones... and those legs!
- Iain Lee, 11 O'Clock Show. Strange choice but nice eyes and he is funny.
- Reece Shearsmith, The League Of Gentleman. What can I say? He is just lovely.
She Who Lost The Plot
Hmmmm... Michael Owen? Definitely!
IAIN AND REECE?... POSSIBLY
