The Mega-Zine Museum
April 16, 2000
NAFF NYMPH WLW, I remember when people used to send you toe-nail clippings in the post. Do you still get weird things in your letters? Has anyone sent you pilchards yet? Not even one and my cat is not happy!
ALONZA'S HALF-SISTER My head told me this morning that I wasn't suited to stacking shelves. No, me neither.
PSYCHOSOMATIC PSEUDONYMPH, THE FALSE FAIRY If the ship is sinking, maybe the rats have a point. But can they swim?
'ZINERS,
Things I love: tinfoil.
Things I hate: trendies, fruit (especially apples), spell-checkers on computers, people who smell, stupidity PE, Chris Evans (but who doesn't)...
Greasy hair, clocks with the wrong time, open doors, Jacobean Skate Punk, speaking in front of my scary English class, people crying (I never know what to do), etc. etc. etc.
Skinned Celebrity
And can I add
MUSHROOMS, SPURS FANS AND OASIS
DEAR 'ZINERS,
Just because people dress all in black and worship Satan, doesn't mean they're gothic.
Just because people have fangs and suck blood, doesn't mean they're vampires.
Just because people are trendies, it doesn't mean they're human.
Just because people run your life and make you sad, it doesn't mean they're nasty.
Hippy Chick
Just because shops sell mushrooms,
DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO EAT THEM!
WLW,
Why can't everyone else be like you? I am trapped in a world where I am treated like a caged animal and where trendies think they are superior.
I don't mean to be so morbid, but it's true.
By the way, I'm not a crazy, insane 'Ziner, I just have issues.
Enola The Nosebleed
Well, if everyone else was like me,
NO ONE WOULD APPRECIATE ME AT ALL!
MURRAY THE INVINCIBLE SKULL,
I dare challenge you. Feel the wrath of the vegetable revolution! You cannot waltz in here and threaten me and my fellow 'Ziners without getting past me first.
You are not superior to us all, I am the world's most intelligent vegetable.
Come on, give me your best shot — you're not scared of a girl are you?
Broccoli
Oooooh, florets at dawn,
FRONT ROW SEAT FOR ME PLEASE!
