The Mega-Zine Museum
April 3, 2000
A MILLION DOLLARS IN A NUTSHELL Self- Obsession Honey — your reciting "Call Me Calmly" by Barenaked Ladies didn't go unnoticed. See! They are out there somewhere! Barenaked Ladies? Oh dear.
ETHNOVOX DEEP SPACE DREAM Print my letters God damn it!! Er... send some??
DA NEEEEERD I know who WLW is... he's an evil psychologist who is studying us 'Ziners to find out what makes us tick so he can destroy it and banish insanity forever! Rats, rumbled again!
STRAWBERRY PICCALILLI,
This has puzzled me for a long time. As much as I loved your idea of making Ziney Baby toys, I have been wondering just why anyone would want an advanced order of a Ziney me ever since.
No 'Ziners ever talk to me and even WLW doesn't like me or he'd spell my name right and you'd actually be reading this now, 'cos he'd print my letters if he did like me.
So please, just let me know why anyone would want me?
tHe woN hOo cuLdN't spel xxx
oh dear me... Skinned Celebrity
IS GONNA HAVE A FIELD DAY WITH YOU!
WLW AND 'ZINER FRIENDS,
I'm writing this from my padded cell. They allowed me 26p, so naturally I wrote to my fellow 'Ziners. I'm in here because I told them I was the bassist for the Manics before they got famous. They said "you can't be — you're a 15-year-old girl.
If you would pay the bail to my mental home (1,000 pilchards — steep I know but I'd appreciate it so much), then I can prove it to you!
Flicker
Bassist for the Manics??
LEAVE HER THERE I SAY!
WLW,
This isn't a good claim to fame but I created the trendie with something I fished out of the toilet, a three-litre bottle of White Star cider, dance CDs, Hitler's DNA and too much time on my hands. I had created something so obnoxious that even adding black nail varnish didn't give them individuality.
Even though I hate my creation, it is against my karma to destroy them, but print this letter and I may!
Village Idiot
and thus was born....
OASIS!
PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE,
A clean slate begins life, but it will always be wiped clean. There is no point to anything when the chalk is used already.
Yet all the world is beautiful, but I see so much hate in it. I don't see the need to care, see complacency everywhere.
Dormant Assassin
I await the backlash
Well he's a happy chap isn't he?
PUT YOUR STEPS CDs ON!
