Mega-Zine
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March 5, 2000

SLEEPFLOWER How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the oven until its Bill Withers! Glug's rating: ■■½. Oops, wrong page!

WILD BILL HICCUP Hello, I'm back... not really, I am Fluffy the Evil One in disguise. I just thought I would give you all a shock by pretending to be Wild Bill, but it didn't work so I'll get my coat... err... taxi! Nice Try!

PISCES, THE CENOBITE TRANCER Mother, I love you. I didn't mean to hit you over the head with that shovel. Psycho!

 

A TRUE STORY:

Last week my sister brought home from nursery the class pet, a hamster called Sandy. I gave Sandy some coffee and she ran in her wheel for two hours.

She looked very bemused when she got out to find she was exactly where she'd been two hours ago. She then ran in circles and climbed the cage walls.

I'm sure many 'Ziners can relate to Sandy — we are all caffeine-fuelled hamsters.

Startling Spirals

Were you the kind of kid that

PULLED THE LEGS OFF CRANE-FLIES?!!

 

PLUGHOLE FANTASY

I agree, it's time we got back to our roots (bad veggie joke!).

I'll join you in the jungle with no clothes on, and I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts!

Billy Davey's daughter: Don't be so mean. My best friend is a cabbage and I know a very nice cauliflower!

The Vegetable Revolution is at hand!

Broccoli

Keep a close eye on your allotments

'ZINERS!!!

 

WLW,

I now know you're a con 'Ziner for I did not write that letter about how important chocolate custard is in my diet.

Because of this you shall be punished by being put in my bubble chamber, and if you don't die from that then I'll plant a bomb in your desk!

Broken Bubbles

Ooooh, haven't had a decent death

THREAT IN AGES!!!

 

PLUGHOLE FANTASY,

Yes, it can be annoying when song lyrics are quoted, and it is generally a waste of space, but there's one particular exception:

"Semolina pilchard climbing up the Eiffel Tower" from the song I Am The Walrus by the Beatles.

The Psychedelic Gloom

All together now...

GOO GOO G'CHOOK!!!