The Mega-Zine Museum
November 23, 1999
JUSTIN CASE I am addicted to Solitare. Well of course, Solitare's the only game in town.
LOSSA My friend the floor, my guru the wall and my hero the toilet bowl? Are we talking Friday night fever?
MISS TRISTESSE I think toast is under-rated — so easy to make and so nice to eat. I'm surprised supermarkets sell bread so cheaply. Shhhhhhhhhhh!
HECTOR THE MERCENARY,
You think you can drink coffee? Not as much as I can. I can coffee drink you under the table, mate!
I once drank 24 coffees in the space of five hours and the laxative effects of my excesses were hardly noticeable.
Sort of.
The Psychedelic Gloom.
So, hardly noticeable...
IN AUSTRALIA THEN?
ZINERS!
Has anyone else noticed something slightly strange? WLW has printed certain letters twice with different responses!
I'm sure there's a perfectly simple explanation for this — like I need to get out more — but I think I have an explanation:
WLW has been kidnapped by aliens and replaced by an imposter!
We must act fast! The 'Zine is at stake!
I don't suppose I could convince you
THAT IT WAS JUST MY FAILING MEMORY?
DEAREST DARLING WLW,
First of all this little note is for you and not for the 'Zine. Although I should be so lucky!
You never show my letters just because I can't afford to put jam sandwiches in them.
Last time I give you anything! Unless, of course, you would be kind enough to print this letter. In which case...
Plughole Fantasy
The jam sandwich is in the post
I PRESUME?
WLW,
Actually, he's a transvestite. What he is NOT is a drag queen. There is a difference.
He is an executive transvestite, an action transvestite — I love the hip movement he does when he says "action!"
A transvestite is typically a man who wears women's clothing (like him) and a drag queen is typically a gay man, SO he's a transvestite like he says... who am I talking about?
The Sock Puppet
Lennox Lewis?
TONY BLAIR?
