The Mega-Zine Museum
October 16, 1999
SOCK PUPPET We're born, we live and then we die, it doesn't matter what we do in between, so I'm going to quit now... someone give me a chicken. 80 years is a long time to suck on a chicken.
SMAK THE CAT Marmite on toast rules! What are they then — never spread yourself too thinly?
MISS TRISTESSE What is everyone doing for the Millennium? Looks like I'll be sulking that I won't be in Cardiff. Surely that's something to celebrate?
RIP GOLDIE (MY FISH)
WLW could you hold a two-minute silence for my pet goldfish who died today? He lived in his tank in the corner of my room, but illness took him away.
My room is now silent — no longer the sound of splashing, as he flicked his tail on the surface of the water — just silence.
As I sent him on his final journey, I imagined him swimming happily in a giant fish tank...
The Ink Spot
Goldie you say? Did he like
DRUM & BASS MUSIC?
TO MOCK MYSELF
I liked her.
I like her too much.
It was a one-off.
And she said let's just be friends,
So I never spoke to her again.
Now I know where she's working
But it's been over a year,
So should I?
Splendid
Well, 92% of couples get back together
ACTUALLY I JUST MADE THAT UP
ZINERS,
I saw a story fly through the sky, aubergines in shades of yellow
Stream of consciousness through pilchards minds a cloudy day
Peaceful and crepuscular twighlight followed by dreams and starry delight wakefulness
Soon after splashes of water and strengthening coffee to start the daydayday could someone tell me why I am?
The Psychedelic Gloom
Haven't I warned you lot
ABOUT CHEESE BEFORE BEDTIME?
THE LAST HAUNTED STALKER
As I am a poor, unloved trainee, I write to you on this scrap of paper with my depressing thoughts.
I concur with your words deeply. My love was her love until fate decided I was due a bad day.
She says I'm a psycho — is it knowing you lot that's done this to me?
The Ickle Strawberry Moose
Or it could be the way
YOU HANG UP YOUR UNDERWEAR
