Mega-Zine
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October 15, 1999

ALONE WOLF I've got a joke for you. "Knock knock"! Er, who's there? Is this going to go on for a long time?

A MARS LANDING MISS MONEYPENNY A couple of gaps in your eyebrows create several weeks of wows! Being a member of the one-eyebrow club myself, I can vouch for the slowness of eyebrow re-growth!

CAPTAIN FISH An open mind lets in rats. I wondered what that funny scratching sound was in my brain!

 

ALONE WOLF,

PC Stu doesn't get all the girls, he repulses me. I feel sorry for Lara Croft, he treats her so badly. It's you I want, Alone Wolf.

Will you go out with me one night this week to eat chocolate doughnuts? Then we can change our pseudonyms.

Love, friendship and respect.

Molotov Maiden XXXX

A lupine love-affair could be an

EXPLOSIVE EXPERIENCE MISS MOLOTOV!

 

'ZINE,

I hate you all. You will all die. When I come to my justified end, I will banish you all to a lifetime of listening to chart music in a fluffy pink room.

All except Jon the Postman, who will become my husband and tell me sexist jokes all day... ok?

Master of Puppets

Hey Jon, your first fan,

TAKES ALL SORTS I SUPPOSE!

 

Dear Ziners,

I want to tell you about a superpower we all possess. I discovered this in Asda when I was reading Kerrang! I was wearing black trousers and a long Smashing Pumpkins t-shirt.

Suddenly a group of trendies started talking about me! I closed my eyelids down to an evil stare and I put on a manic psycho look. And the trendies, they turned and ran.

Use it wisely 'Ziners!

Cherub Rose X

TEACH ME, TEACH ME HOW TO DO IT!

 

WHITE HOLE KAKOU,

The trendies invented the word "Greebo" as a collective name for all the freaks, slackers, weirdos, grungers, metal heads, punks, goths and even beatniks. They use it as a rude insult but I enjoy the identity.

They'll call you greebo if your appearance is alternative and they'll laugh at you! I just reply: "So you think I spiked my hair by accident?"

The Jacobean Skate Punk from the DT.

My hair gets spiked by accident,

YOU SHOULD SEE ME IN THE MORNING!